Three words to describe this weekend: calm, productive, weird.
Calm because I stayed home all weekend and took time to just do nothing and hang out with me. I don't necessarily feel like being around anyone during this mess so it was perfect.
Productive because all of this free time allowed me to sort through and organize our bills and paperwork from everything infertility. I finally found time to clean the kitchen like I've been wanting to. AND, I updated the blog, which I'm still not happy with but it's a work in progress.
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| IVF is sucking us dry! Too many bills! |
Weird because, well, just keep reading...
It's Day 5 of stimulations and it's the first day I've felt like poop. It came out of no where. I was in a great mood: deep cleaning the kitchen, planning out what I want to do for my husband's birthday tomorrow, and listening to my podcasts. I took a shower before heading to the grocery store and that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks. I just fell asleep. I don't remember how or when but it felt great! When I woke up, my hair was mostly dry and the dog had cuddled up next to me. Since then, I've had a dull headache and have been feeling very groggy. I managed to dry & style my hair and finish my daily errands. But, it wasn't easy.
We went to our favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner. Apparently, it was obvious how poorly I felt because my husband was staring at me like I was an alien. "WHAT?!?!!" He asked if I was okay. hahaha. Loaded question, Buddy. I'm trying to remember that I'm on hormones. These emotions I feel aren't entirely me. It's okay to be crazy... but keep it in check, girl! My reply was nice and honest, "No. I'm not okay. I feel terrible. I'm sleepy, and groggy, and I have a weird headache. I just feel weird." We talked about it a little more at home. The only way I can think to describe it is that I'm almost in a fog. It's like things are actually happening but I almost don't know they're happening. I'm in la-la-land but it's real life.
Do I sound crazy, or what?
Ovary Woes
I can feel my ovaries and it's driving me nuts. I don't remember feeling them this much the first time around. Trying to describe how it feels is impossible. It's like a constant pressure with a shooting pain every once in a while. But, it's a very dull pain. Not really painful at all, if that makes sense. It's mostly in my left ovary and flares up when I'm walking the dog back up the driveway or lifting things. My husband probably thinks I'm crazy cause I'm making weird noises and walking with my legs wide apart. It's such an odd experience and it's beginning to interrupt my sleep. I like sleeping on my side but it feels like I'm squishing my ovaries now. Not comfortable at all. I can fall asleep on my back but naturally turn to my side during sleep, causing my ovaries to get crushed, thus, waking me up all throughout the night. Ridiculous.
IVF
Everything has been going well as far as I can tell. The injections are a breeze at this point. The bleeding after injections has continued. It bled so much on Friday night that it dripped onto my jeans and undies. Ew!After each round of injections, I get a very dull headache and feel like sleeping. Good thing I chose to do them at 9:30 every night so that I can just crawl in bed.
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| More meds arrived on Thursday. I still need to order more Menopur. (left to right: Gonal-F, Menopur, Omnitrope) |
My first monitoring appointment is tomorrow. I'm nervous and excited. I'm terrified that I'll have a dominant follicle and they'll want to cancel again. Honestly, if this happens, I may just ask to continue on. I don't think I want to do this again. If we cancel or fail, I'm ready to move on to donor eggs. This isn't fun. I feel crazy. My body, our marriage, our bank account... they can only handle so much. Let's hope that I go in tomorrow and they say, "Wow! You're responding so well. You have 1 million follicles and are ready to start Cetrotide. We'll see you on Wednesday." If not, there will be lots of conversation and decisions to be made... tomorrow... on my husband's birthday. Oi.
Check It Out! Injection Fun
I thought it would be fun to make a time-lapse video of my nightly routine. It typically takes 20-30 minutes to do all of the injections. Obviously, it goes by quicker as I get more used to it. Tonight, I had to mix all 3 medications: Omnitrope, Menopur, and Gonal-F. But, I don't use all of the Omni. or the Gonal-F so they are already mixed for tomorrow's injection. This means that tomorrow will go by quicker. Anyways, I told my husband about the time lapse idea. He set the tripod up and made it happen. I can't even believe I'm posting this with my bloated belly (thanks for even more side effects, meds). I'll definitely be wearing dresses and maxi skirts to work this week. I can barely button my pants.
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