April 2nd (11 weeks, 3 days)
The day had finally come to get the blood draw for NIPT screening. This day put us one step closer to letting down our guard and hopefully being able to fully embrace this pregnancy and the possibility of a second child.
Once again, I had to be screened at the hospital entrance. I carried tissues in my pockets to use when pushing the elevator buttons. The appointment was with my midwife and since we're friends it was almost like having a fun little social hour (aside from the awkward pap smear). :) Apparently, we were the only ones in the office at the time. No doctors, no other midwives, and I was the only patient. She kept commenting on how eerie it felt but I was thankful for the time to catch-up and socialize with another adult female.
After the pap smear, I mentioned that I hadn't had any bleeding since the last appointment, which was over 2 weeks prior. So she decided we should do an ultrasound to check on it. (I secretly think she wanted to see the baby). She got very excited saying, "No one is here! Let's go see that baby!" Of course I was elated to get to see him/her again and to get that reassurance. The ultrasound tech was there but my midwife stayed in the room with us. We just laid there watching Merbaby2 bounce around and wiggle. Putting his/her little hands up to the mouth and paddling the feet. It was so stinking cute. And... the sub chorionic hematoma was GONE! It was no where in sight! HALLE-FREAKIN-LUJAH!
I was so happy and excited after the ultrasound, that I got dressed and walked right out of that office without even thinking. Floating away on Cloud 9, I got all the way to the parking deck, and was in the car about to leave when my phone started ringing. It was the phlebotomist! I'd completely forgotten to get my blood drawn. I had to walk all the way back into the office to get my blood drawn for the NIPT screening. I don't know whether to blame that on pregnancy brain or being socially distanced for too long. But I definitely felt like a ding-dong. Only slightly embarassed, I made my way back through the hospital to have the blood drawn. After having about 5 vials of blood filled, I was on my way out happily staring at the pictures of my sweet bouncy baby.
The Wait
Thus began the looooong wait to get that phone call with the results.
After the appointment, I went to school to get some things out of my office. The building was opened for one week. We had to sign up for a 30 minute time slot and only 9 people could be in the building at a time. I was really late for my time slot (because of the appointment going long), forgot my badge to get in the building, and forgot the keys to my office. (My brain is obviously struggling to function these days). Luckily, the custodians signed up for the same time so they were able to let me in and open my office. I grabbed a bunch of books, crafts supplies, and things I thought Mertoddler might enjoy using at home. It was devastating being in the empty room. Everything was left exactly how it was 3 weeks prior. Nothing had been moved or touch and that was something so somber in that moment. I decided to clean up a little, put things away, and tried to organize the chaos.
Shortly after, the state governor announced that schools would remain closed for the rest of the year. And I cried. I cried way more than I thought I would. This is such a weird time and so many of our students need that constant education or they will begin to lose what they've learned. Next school year is going to be very interesting.
We spent the weekend going for walks, bike rides, visiting the farm animals down the street, reading the new books Mommy brought home from work, baking brownies, playing in the water and sand table, and more!
Paw Paw came by to drop off an egg decorating kit later that week. Mertoddler and I stood in the driveway waving at him and talking from a distance. It was so sad not to be able to run up and hug him. It really broke my heart.
I got a little desperate with the art projects this week. We collected pine cones and brought them home to paint... just to do something different. We did make some really pretty Easter egg crafts to hang in the window. And I attempted a Pinterest rainbow painting that failed but was still really cute. We're sending that one to Gigi.
Transitioning to the Toddler Bed
On Wednesday, March 25, Mertoddler climbed out of his crib for the first time ever. In the process, his chin/neck got caught on the railing. He wasn't injured but it hurt and I think it really scared him. I was in my bed and heard a loud "thunk" so I grabbed the monitor to check, and he was no where to be seen. So I ran out of my room and he was standing outside the door. Gasping in shock, I said, "How did you get out of your bed?!" His little eyes welled up and his lip started to tremble. He wouldn't respond and I could tell he was terrified so I scooped him up and cuddled him, telling him it was okay. That's when he started telling me that he got hurt. I made him show me how he climbed out and where he hurt himself. Once I determined that he was okay, he was back in bed and falling asleep. But, this meant that it was time to switch to the toddler bed!
The next day, Merman took the front rail off of the crib. Not sure we should have jumped into transitioning so abruptly but we did it. I don't think Mertoddler was ready for it and I definitely wasn't ready. It has been quite the challenge as he does not want to stay in bed and/or falls out at night and sleeps in the floor. A friend of mine suggested putting a pool noodle under the sheets to prevent him from falling out. I went out that very night to buy the pool noodle (and stroll around Target a little bit just because I miss it so much). That noodle was the perfect trick! He hasn't fallen out of his bed since that we placed it under his sheets and he seems more excited about being in bed. My mom (Gigi) sent him a new race car comforter and he loves it!
After many sleepless nights and lots of anti-sleeping battles, I've began reading about toddler sleep training. I've used some of the methods I read for the past two nights and it seems to be helping. Bedtime is much more pleasant and less of a battle. He's not depending on me or Mr. Merman to be in the room so he can fall asleep. He's still going to sleep past bedtime but it's a pleasant experience and a step in the right direction (I hope). We're still having night time wake-ups but they aren't as frequent and he's able to quickly go back to sleep. Hopefully, we'll be back to our normal sleeping pattern soon cause this pregnant mama is pooped!
NIPT Results
April 9- Okay, back to the pregnancy! As the week went on, I was getting more and more anxious about the results. I tried focusing on the excitement of finding out the gender, hoping to block out all the negative thoughts and worst-case scenarios. They said it would take 7-10 business days to get results but I got a text on Monday saying it was being processed. Surely, it wouldn't take a week to process?!? Every time my phone rang and I saw an unknown number, my heart would begin to race. Taking deep breaths, I'd listen to the voicemail only to find that it was not the results. The suspense was killing me.
Finally, on Thursday afternoon (exactly one week later), I realized I had a missed call and a voicemail from the OB office. Listening to the voicemail, the nurse sounded very happy and positive so I quickly called back. She said that everything came back looking good so I asked her to repeat that everything was normal. ha! She explained that the test determined whether things were low risk or high risk and all my blood work came back low risk. Jumping for joy, I just kept telling her how worried I'd been and how grateful I was.
What a relief! I didn't realize how much that was weighing on me. Knowing that this baby is healthy and safe has finally allowed me to let down that protective wall. This is actually happening. We have a baby on the way! After getting off the call, I grabbed Mertoddler and we did a happy dance. We ran down to the basement and interrupted Merman (who was hard at work) to tell him the good news. EEeeekk!!! This is real!
As for gender, I asked the nurse to text it to a friend (my best friend's sister actually). She has already ordered some gender reveal poppers on Amazon and will be placing them in our mailbox once they arrive. Sometime next week, we'll schedule a Zoom meeting with family and a few close friends to do the gender reveal. I am very excited but also have no preference about which gender it is. I've always pictured myself as a boy mom and can't even imagine having a girl now that I have Mertoddler. There would definitely be some pros to having another boy: we already have all the clothes and toys, they would likely enjoy many of the same things, etc. But, I think Merman would really like a girl and I would be excited to experience life as a girl mom too. So we will see! I honestly don't have any kind of intuition on which it could be. I'm just so excited to have a healthy baby in there. And I'm still in shock that we did this on our own. AMAZING!
Next Steps
I have an appointment with the MFM on Monday. I had planned to cancel it, especially since the hematoma was gone but I got so worked up waiting for the results this week, that I decided to keep it for my sanity and peace of mind.
Announcing to family and friends! Now that we have the genetic results back, we're ready to announce. Mertoddler will be finding out on Easter. He'll be getting two big brother books so we're hoping that will help us explain what's going on. We will likely Facetime Merman's parents that day to tell them, as well.
I've sent a package to my mom and stepdad in the mail, which will arrive on Monday. It has some goodies in there (artwork, socks, candy) along with a brag board that contains a picture of my niece, Mertoddler, and the sonogram photo saying "Due October 2020." I've told her that I want to see her reaction to one of the gifts because it is going to be so funny. (The socks are personalized with her dog's face, so she'll open that first and think that's why I wanted to watch her face). For this reason, she will Facetime us before opening the gifts. Once she knows, we'll Facetime my sister, niece, Dad, and text some other family members. I think we'll put Mertoddler in a "Big Brother" shirt and see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I can't even believe this is my reality. I'm so beyond grateful!
