Is This Real Life?

I'M PREGNANT!

We got the call around 12:30 today and it was a positive! I think I'm still in a state of shock... trying to wrap my head around this craziness that can't be reality... can it? Oh. my. gosh.

Earlier This Week

A few things happened this week that made me so emotionally crazy. I'll begin with the scary things. (Beware. This gets a bit personal so you may want to skip it). On Friday, I went to the bathroom at work and noticed that the toilet paper was pink. Quickly, I wiped again and saw that there was a little piece of something very similar to what happens during my menstrual cycle. I rushed back to my office and began googling all of the options. I knew that it couldn't be my period because Progesterone prevents that from coming but I've also heard of girls starting their periods anyways. An ugly cry took over my body for a minute as I considered myself dooomed. Not pregnant. End of the biological baby road. My girlfriends were texting me trying to help me calm down. But, I was a mess. The rest of the day was spent running back and forth to the bathroom to check for more spotting. Nothing else ever happened. I started wondering if I had made it all up in my head. Hallucinations? Hormones officially making me insane? I even thought it was the universe's way of preparing me for bad news. Needless to say, it was terrifying. 

Now, for the not so scary. Remember how I said that I was peeing all the time in my last post? I finally discovered that if I put a pillow between my knees during the night, I didn't have to get up and go as much. I sleep on my side so, my legs being together is squishing my bladder. The pillow gives it more room so I only pee once or... drum roll... ZERO times! I didn't get up to pee at all for the past two nights and it was blissful. However, I couldn't help but think how ridiculous I would feel if we found out that I'm not pregnant and I've been sleeping with a pillow between my legs. 

We spent yesterday with some friends in the city. They invited us to a brewery because they got free tickets. I knew I'd want to be busy this weekend so I agreed to be the designated driver. Luckily, I'm gluten-free so it wasn't super awkward for me not to drink. The day flew by! We had such a great time touring the brewery, catching up with friends, and drinking (or watching people get drunk in my case). Afterwards, we went out to dinner at a taco bar that was so gluten-free friendly, I almost cried. By the time we got home, I was exhausted and in disbelief that our beta was less than 12 hours away. 

Touring the Brewery

Beta- HCG- Finding Out We're Pregnant 

Anxiety and nervousness took over last night. Sleep only lasted a few hours. It took a while to finally fall asleep and then I woke up every hour checking the clock wondering how much longer til we could leave?!

I finally gave up around 5:30 AM and rolled out of bed. I took the dog out, made some waffles, and watched "I Love Lucy." It was actually a rather enjoyable morning. We finally hit the road around 7:20 AM. I had butterflies as we pulled in. Because it's the weekend, we had to drive to the furthest location and you never know which doctor, nurse, phlebotomist, etc. will be there. Lucky for me, the phlebotomist from my home location was there today! She remembered me and my weak veins, wishing us luck as we left. While she was drawing my blood, I asked if they would also be testing the progesterone and estrogen levels. She asked, "Did you take a pregnancy test this morning?" "No! I was good. I resisted and am waiting for the results today," I said. Her response was, "Oh. Well, if you had gotten a positive at home, we would run those tests. But, we'll just test your HCG today." This confused me a little as I was thinking I had done a good thing by not testing at home. 

We left the doctor's office around 8:15AM, stopped so Mr. Merman could get coffee, then parked ourselves on the couch as we anxiously awaited the phone call that would forever change our lives. 

It. felt. like. forever. We didn't talk much. I couldn't stay focused on anything. TV, movie, book, nothing worked. I was so nervous I couldn't eat or drink without feeling like I was going to puke. 

The call finally came at 12:26 PM. I shouted, "It's them!!!" and put the TV on mute. I put the phone on speaker so that we could both hear the doctor say, "Congratulations! It was positive. You're pregnant!" My HCG level is a 410, which the doctor said is pretty high and very strong. As soon as I hung up the phone, my husband rolled over to hug me and we just held each other in that sweet embrace for a few minutes as we both came to terms with the news that we just heard. About 3 years of trying, a lot of science and medical intervention, a few ten-thousand dollars, and we're finally expecting. (Even the dog was celebrating as she ran up my husband's back and started licking my face). 

Shortly after getting the news, I decided that I wanted to pee on a bunch of sticks so that I could see the first positive we've ever had. I expected it to be very light in color since it's so early on and since it wasn't first morning urine. But, it instantly showed two lines on all 3 test strips. Call me crazy, but I've been carrying one stick around with me all day just so that I can look at it. It's still so unbelievable! 

What Now?

According to the IVF calculators, I'm 4 weeks and 2 days along. My due date is June 23. We will go back on Tuesday for another blood draw to make sure the HCG numbers are doubling (they should be 820 or higher). As happy as I am at this moment, I know that I will spend the next 10 weeks fretting over every little thing that could possibly go wrong and hoping that everything goes right. 

But first, we will celebrate by going out to eat Frozen Custard. Our usual celebration spot. 

This day is currently the best day of my life.