After 3 Months
As I said in the last post, I had to go on birth control for 3 months to get rid of the cysts. (Clomid is the devil). At the end of 3 months, I went back to my GYN. We did an ultrasound and WHOOOOO!!! The cysts were gone. I mentioned that my husband didn't have a job so we weren't sure if we should try anymore medications. Her response: Everything is fine. You're young. Nothing is wrong. Just keep trying and have fun with it. It'll happen! :|
Asking how long I should wait before taking anymore medical action seemed like a good idea. (I really wish we'd been more proactive during this time). But, she told me to come back in 6 months if I wasn't pregnant then made a comment about me being pregnant the next time I came in. Her confidence made me feel hopeful.
Asking how long I should wait before taking anymore medical action seemed like a good idea. (I really wish we'd been more proactive during this time). But, she told me to come back in 6 months if I wasn't pregnant then made a comment about me being pregnant the next time I came in. Her confidence made me feel hopeful.
Remember that friend I told you about (the pregnant one that I ran into in the doctor's office)? Obviously, she continued seeing the OB/GYN and informed me that they took out the "OB!" They were no longer handling anything that dealt with pregnancy. The GYN I had been working with moved to a new office and everything had changed. Surprised, shocked, and disappointed, I took this as an opportunity to find somewhere closer to home. But, man, was I pissed?!?
The Worst 6 Months
I waited 6 months, like the GYN said. It was terrible. Can I just tell you how awful it is to continue seeing your period month after month? Can I also tell you how emotionally draining it is to get your hopes up every single time you get a positive ovulation test and have sex the day before, the day of, the day after, and maybe the day after that just to be safe? Let me just make a quick list of the crazy things that happened during that 6 months:
1) Became gluten free (I do have a history of gluten intolerance so not completely off the wall)
2) Quit drinking coffee
3) Drank less alcohol
4) Drank more alcohol (every time that damn period came)
5) Started eating organic
6) Quit working out (maybe I was running too much?)
7) Started eating gluten because, dammit, I love pizza!
8) Google everything related to making a baby
9) Resent every woman with a child
10) Cry in the shower (so as not to stress the husband out who is currently job searching and in the midst of grad school)
11) Cry in the car
12) Cry when there's a pregnant woman
13) Cry when there's a baby
14) Cry when there's a father happily enjoying time with his son/daughter
15) Get depressed about not working out so....start working out/running again!
15) Take lots of naps and sleep because time isn't going by quick enough
16) Try having more sex
17) Try having less sex
18) Start drinking as much coffee as I want because DAMMIT it makes me happy!!!
19) Eat a lot of asparagus because it's good for my eggs???
20) Put cinnamon in my coffee cause it's good for reproduction (stupid Pinterest)
21) Get angry whenever someone wants to talk about babies
22) Flick people off who post baby announcements on FB
23) Start saying "Eff you and you and you" whenever someone announces a happy moment with their baby/child/pregnancy, etc.
24) Cry on Mother's Day
25) Cry on Father's Day
I could go on and on for months but I'll stop there. I think you get the idea.
Obviously, we still were not pregnant at the end of the 6-month wait. By this time, I'd found a new OB/GYN and made an appointment for September. A good friend recommended the new practice to me. I must also mention that this friend had experienced the throes of infertility herself and was finally pregnant thanks to Science (IVF). I was not jealous of this friend. I knew what she had been through and was beginning to understand how incredibly difficult it must have been. I was elated that she was finally going to have a family.
A New OB/GYN
I visited the new doctor for my annual female appointment and asked about infertility. I told her my history and she instantly recommended that I get an HSG. She couldn't believe that my last doctor didn't order one before putting me on Clomid. She told me that so many women get pregnant after having an HSG and that she, herself, had gotten pregnant after getting one. I instantly knew that I loved this woman!
OUCH! HSG (hysterosalpingogram)
If you're not sure what this is, look it up! It's a quick procedure to see if a woman's tubes are blocked. It also looks at the uterus to make sure it isn't tilted and/or that there aren't any other issues. In a nutshell, they lay you on an operating table with a big x-ray machine hovering above you. You put your feet in the stirrups (like a normal appointment) and the doctor inserts a catheter through your cervix. That part wasn't bad at all. Then, they inflate a little balloon to open the cervix. Did you hear me? They inflate a balloon to DILATE YOUR CERVIX! While the balloon is inflated, you have to slide yourself back up on the table and move from side to side so that they get a good visual from every angle. Then, they begin inserting dye through the catheter. If the tubes are blocked, the dye won't be able to move through. Sometimes, the dye may actually clean the tubes out, which is why so many women get pregnant after this procedure.
I won't lie. The procedure was quick and simple but having your cervix dilated is NOT FUN! It literally took my breath away. I had to do some heavy breathing and squeeze the nurse's hand to survive. I've heard horror stories of how painful this procedure is if your tubes are blocked (referring back to my friend above). I can't imagine anymore pain than what I experienced.
As I was laying there in pain, moving my body from left to right I started thinking how unfair it is that some people get to have sex with the person they love and make a baby. I started thinking how unfair it was for me to be laying on that table being tortured in order to find out why I can't have a baby. I was angry and sad and fighting the tears. The nurse noticed and squeezed my hand harder while talking to me soothingly. It was helping until she said, "Think happy thoughts. Picture your baby in your arms." If I could find her now and tell her how badly that one line hurt, like a punch in the stomach, I would. They should be trained not to say things like that to people struggling with infertility.
Anyways, the results came back totally normal. I left the procedure and enjoyed a relaxing day off: drinking Starbucks, laying on the couch, watching TV. Other than mild cramping, it was a great afternoon! The nurse told me that the chances of getting pregnant increase after an HSG. Several women call their office to announce the pregnancy post-HSG. I was told to try naturally for 3 more months. They couldn't wait to hear from me because they just knew I'd be pregnant.
Bet you can guess how that 3 months went.
PS: During this time, my husband got an AMAZING job with a great company. Thank goodness! One less stressor on our plate.
11) Cry in the car
12) Cry when there's a pregnant woman
13) Cry when there's a baby
14) Cry when there's a father happily enjoying time with his son/daughter
15) Get depressed about not working out so....start working out/running again!
15) Take lots of naps and sleep because time isn't going by quick enough
16) Try having more sex
17) Try having less sex
18) Start drinking as much coffee as I want because DAMMIT it makes me happy!!!
19) Eat a lot of asparagus because it's good for my eggs???
20) Put cinnamon in my coffee cause it's good for reproduction (stupid Pinterest)
21) Get angry whenever someone wants to talk about babies
22) Flick people off who post baby announcements on FB
23) Start saying "Eff you and you and you" whenever someone announces a happy moment with their baby/child/pregnancy, etc.
24) Cry on Mother's Day
25) Cry on Father's Day
I could go on and on for months but I'll stop there. I think you get the idea.
Obviously, we still were not pregnant at the end of the 6-month wait. By this time, I'd found a new OB/GYN and made an appointment for September. A good friend recommended the new practice to me. I must also mention that this friend had experienced the throes of infertility herself and was finally pregnant thanks to Science (IVF). I was not jealous of this friend. I knew what she had been through and was beginning to understand how incredibly difficult it must have been. I was elated that she was finally going to have a family.
A New OB/GYN
I visited the new doctor for my annual female appointment and asked about infertility. I told her my history and she instantly recommended that I get an HSG. She couldn't believe that my last doctor didn't order one before putting me on Clomid. She told me that so many women get pregnant after having an HSG and that she, herself, had gotten pregnant after getting one. I instantly knew that I loved this woman!
OUCH! HSG (hysterosalpingogram)
If you're not sure what this is, look it up! It's a quick procedure to see if a woman's tubes are blocked. It also looks at the uterus to make sure it isn't tilted and/or that there aren't any other issues. In a nutshell, they lay you on an operating table with a big x-ray machine hovering above you. You put your feet in the stirrups (like a normal appointment) and the doctor inserts a catheter through your cervix. That part wasn't bad at all. Then, they inflate a little balloon to open the cervix. Did you hear me? They inflate a balloon to DILATE YOUR CERVIX! While the balloon is inflated, you have to slide yourself back up on the table and move from side to side so that they get a good visual from every angle. Then, they begin inserting dye through the catheter. If the tubes are blocked, the dye won't be able to move through. Sometimes, the dye may actually clean the tubes out, which is why so many women get pregnant after this procedure.
I won't lie. The procedure was quick and simple but having your cervix dilated is NOT FUN! It literally took my breath away. I had to do some heavy breathing and squeeze the nurse's hand to survive. I've heard horror stories of how painful this procedure is if your tubes are blocked (referring back to my friend above). I can't imagine anymore pain than what I experienced.
As I was laying there in pain, moving my body from left to right I started thinking how unfair it is that some people get to have sex with the person they love and make a baby. I started thinking how unfair it was for me to be laying on that table being tortured in order to find out why I can't have a baby. I was angry and sad and fighting the tears. The nurse noticed and squeezed my hand harder while talking to me soothingly. It was helping until she said, "Think happy thoughts. Picture your baby in your arms." If I could find her now and tell her how badly that one line hurt, like a punch in the stomach, I would. They should be trained not to say things like that to people struggling with infertility.
Anyways, the results came back totally normal. I left the procedure and enjoyed a relaxing day off: drinking Starbucks, laying on the couch, watching TV. Other than mild cramping, it was a great afternoon! The nurse told me that the chances of getting pregnant increase after an HSG. Several women call their office to announce the pregnancy post-HSG. I was told to try naturally for 3 more months. They couldn't wait to hear from me because they just knew I'd be pregnant.
Bet you can guess how that 3 months went.
PS: During this time, my husband got an AMAZING job with a great company. Thank goodness! One less stressor on our plate.
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