Miscarriage... or not?

The first thing I did when we woke up was check for bleeding. There was a small spot on the pad but nothing more. I'd made it through the night with no more bleeding. And when I wiped, it was clean! HALLELUJAH!

I called the clinic right away because I couldn't just sit around all day and wonder. My nurse called back (obviously woken from her sleep). She told me to come in for the HCG draw today instead of tomorrow and wanted to check my progesterone. 

She was very comforting and explained that sometimes dehydration in early pregnancy can cause cramping and bleeding. So I was instructed to drink a lot of water. She also told me that since I'm not bleeding through pads or into the toilet, we shouldn't panic. 

I left the house at 8 AM and Merman took over for the day. After the blood draw, I went to the store to get a snack and water for the long ride home. We had terrible stormy weather today and I knew the drive would be long and laborious. I was right! I witnessed two accidents on the interstate and it took over an hour to get back to my side of town. I decided to run into a department store to use the restroom and that's when the clinic called with results. 

HCG- 643

Progesterone- 41

BAD NEWS! In three days, my beta has not even come close to doubling. The lady on the phone explained that it's still rising so I'll need to come back on Tuesday to see what's going on. Until then, continue progesterone and just wait. 

We're basically stuck in limbo and it's pure torture. 

After some crying and self-calming, I managed to go grocery shopping. I called my supervisor and explained everything, through tears again. She told me about the time she had a miscarriage and told me to spend time with family and focus on love. I was told that work didn't matter and not to worry a bit. She told me to go to the appointments without thinking twice. (I absolutely love my bosses!)

Once I got home, I was feeling normal again. No cramping. Still no more bleeding. Just mentally and emotionally exhausted. I climbed in bed with Merbaby and we watched some "bus" videos. (He is obsessed). After awhile, we came down to play but I felt so tired. Merman took over again and I took a nice, long nap. Afterward, I was able to make dinner, play with Merbaby, do bathtime, and mealprep for the next day. That nap was exactly what I needed. 

Now it's 9:14 PM and I'm having some more spotting. Brown this time. What does that mean? I thought brown wasn't supposed to be anything to worry about but I just have a feeling it's the beginning stages of a miscarriage. I can't help but think that the progesterone is preventing the inevitable from happening. 

I'm trying to focus on my day-to-day. I'm ready to have answers and move on. I can't consume myself with this... easier said than done. 

The cramps come and go. I don't know what to make of them. 

I've been on Reddit and seen similar beta stories that turned out to be ectopics... 

I'm still clinging to a little hope but not holding my breath.