After Birth Chaos!

I've been trying to find time to finish up my birth story for a while but it's hard to do life with a newborn. Every time he falls asleep, I go nuts running around the house to see how much I can get done before he wakes up. If I'm lucky, I can usually squeeze in a bathroom break, running the dog out, picking up a few things, and starting to get a meal ready before then he wakes up. Which means that I usually don't get to eat my meal until it's cold... or I'm eating it with one hand while breastfeeding... or taking a bite here and there as I walk around swaying and shushing the baby. It's a major adjustment but I wouldn't have it any other way!

Placenta Problems
Once I had that baby in my arms, it seemed like everything was right in the world. The nurse was able to get colostrum out of my nipple with one squeeze. (Side note: This caught me totally off guard! They'd pulled him from my vagina and put him on my chest when the nurse just grabbed a boob and squeezed. Everyone celebrated when goo started coming out. Wasn't expecting that at all). So we latched him on, which he did easily, while they cleaned him up and started on the Apgar scoring. Not sure if I already mentioned this in the last post, but I didn't get the full hour of skin-to-skin. My temperature was 100.4 during labor which could be a sign of infection. Therefore, they had to draw blood from the baby within 30 minutes of birth to test for infection. Since they had to take him to the little bassinet to do this, I requested that they go on and get his weight, measurement, etc. I still had a midwife digging around for the placenta so it gave me a little break and I could kind of see what was going on.

We did delayed cord clamping so we waited til everything had drained from the cord to cut it, which Mr. Merman had the honor of doing. He says it felt like he was in an alien movie because it had the weirdest texture and looked inhumane. Once the cord was cut, he asked if they could just pull the placenta out with the cord, which the midwife explained would help once they could get it down near my cervix.

I recall her seeming a little perplexed while she was working on my placenta. She told me to push but nothing happened. After about 30 minutes, she looked at the clock and claimed that it had been long enough. My placenta wasn't coming out and her fingers weren't long enough to pull it off the uterus. She sewed up my 2nd degree tear explaining that she wanted to get that done before the epidural wore off completely. Then she called the OB in to work on the placenta because "he has longer fingers." This is when shit got scary.

The OB came in and was extremely nice. He began working on detaching the placenta from my uterus when the nurses told him that my epidural had shut off about 2 hours ago. Without the epidural, it was going to be extremely painful for me. So he asked for some pain meds. They put fentanyl in my IV (I didn't know it was fentanyl at the time). At first, it felt GREAT! I was in heaven with my baby and feeling really good. Merbaby was latched onto my boob, Mr. Merman was by my side, and I was feeling high as a kite while the OB went to town digging in my uterus and I couldn't feel a thing. That's when things start to get blurry.

This was basically me...

Those pain meds made me feel so drowsy and I could hardly stay awake. I kept falling asleep then jumping awake because I was afraid I'd drop the baby. I was also having a severe case of FOMO as I didn't want to forget anything about the 1st day of my child's life. I was trying so hard to listen to the doctor and store everything in my long-term memory. It was kind of like Dory in Finding Nemo... if I just kept repeating it over and over, I'd remember!


 At one point, I told Mr. Merman to text me what the doctor was saying so that I wouldn't forget. I recall hearing the doctor mention doing a D&C, which scared me to death. I'm already infertile and don't need another procedure that could mess things up even more in there. A D&C also meant taking me away from my baby and I couldn't handle the thought of that. Eventually, I asked the nurse and Mr. Merman if he could take the baby and do skin-to-skin cause I was feeling extremely overwhelmed and wasn't sure I could continue holding the baby safely. As soon as he took Merbaby, I passed out.

I'm not sure what all happened in this time. I remember glancing over at my husband holding my baby and being completely in love. Chocolate was involved. Remember that goody-bag my sister dropped off? It was filled with dark chocolate so Mr. Merman kept sneaking me little bites of heaven. I heard something about cauterizing because of all the bleeding. Then I felt some uncomfortable poking. The OB explained that he was redoing the stitches because they had come undone with all the placenta removal drama. Then there was some celebration because he was pretty sure the whole placenta was out and I didn't need a D&C. But I was still bleeding and he was extremely concerned about my blood loss.

(I also remember people telling me not to look down because I kept trying to see what was happening. There was lots of blood and my placenta was in pieces on the table. The doctor was covered in blood past his elbows. Jokes about it being a murder scene were made. Mr. Merman told me there was blood all the way across the room!)

The doctor filled my uterus with packing, which I don't remember. But I do remember him pulling it out and being concerned about how quickly it had soaked through with blood. He put more in and told me that if I bled through that in less than 30 minutes, they were going to need to do something. I honestly don't remember what that something was. Maybe it was the cauterizing? Luckily, I didn't soak through it that quickly. And it hurt like a bitch when the nurse pulled it all out! I don't wish that on anyone.

My iron levels came back at an 8. They had dropped from 14 to 8! That's when Mr. Merman told me they were going to do a blood transfusion if it had dropped to 7. So I just barely missed that nightmare, as well. No wonder I felt extremely weak and had lost all color.

They put my back on pitocin and fluids for 12 hours to help my uterus contract, empty out the contents, and to keep me hydrated. I also had to take Methergine to cause more contractions that are supposed to help with bleeding after labor. And, of course, I was put on iron supplements.

Unconsented Vaccine
In the midst of all this, the OB came back in and sat down at the end of my bed. He said something about my baby getting an extra poke. I smiled cause I was so drugged up and loved hearing someone call him "my baby." But then he explained that the nurse had given him his Hep B vaccine, which we had not wanted. My only reason for this was that poor little Merbaby was going to be given a Vitamin K shot and then would be circumcised during his first 48 hours of life. I just wanted him to have one less poke during that time. Having his Pediatrician give him the Hep B vaccine during his first visit had been the plan. So we declined consent on Hep B, meaning we didn't sign the forms... and they gave it to him anyways!

The doctor explained how serious this was. They had already written up a report and sent it upstairs. He told us to expect the big-wigs to visit our room at some point to apologize, investigate, etc. Mr. Merman said he saw the nurse give Merbaby two shots but didn't realize what was happening. I really wish I'd been able to see that cause I definitely would have said something to stop the nurse. After hearing this, I was over all the issues of the day and just wanted to go back to sleep.

Update: No one ever visited our room to apologize. We've heard nothing more of this accident. We received the hospital bill and they even charged us for the vaccine! My mom used to work with the health system at that hospital so she's advising us on what to do next. More updates on that as it happens.

Moving Rooms
After all the chaos and some extra monitoring, we were finally allowed to move upstairs to the recovery room/Mother and Baby Ward. FINALLY! We'd been in the laboring room for over 48 hours without windows. The recovery room had sunlight and a beautiful view! Ironically, I could see our fertility clinic from the window in our room. So I shouted out a few "Thank yous" to them while we were there. :)

Merbaby enjoying the sunlight!

My brain was still really fuzzy once we moved rooms. I remember trying to text people then falling asleep which resulted in some funny text messages. Mr. Merman took pictures of me holding Merbaby and I'm just completely zonked out in a lot of them. My sister came to visit and brought us Chick-Fil-A. After eating, I felt 100 times better! I was finally able to call the nurse in to help me to the bathroom and I was starting to feel like me again.

My memory of our first night is a little fuzzy. I know we got pretty decent sleep and Merbaby was a pro at breastfeeding. We were told that he should be getting 20 drops of colostrum every hour or so. This was easy as we just hand expressed a few drops and rubbed it on his gums. His constant sucking was supposed to help bring my milk in faster so I just let him suck away.

They came in to weigh him that evening and he weighed more than he had at birth! After conversing, we concluded that the nurse must have weighed him incorrectly at birth. So we have no idea how much he truly weighed. But the nurse and midwife suggest that it was probably closer to 8 lbs. than to the 7 lbs. 1 oz. that had been recorded.

Day 2- Circumcision & Jaundice
They circumcised him the next morning meaning that he was away from us for an hour. We decided to take the opportunity to sleep! Unfortunately, we had 6 interruptions during that short hour of time: The hearing specialist, lactation consultant, photographer, maid, nurse's assistant, and my dad! It was unreal. Needless to say, we didn't get that nap we so wanted. And most of our interruptions returned within the next couple of hours. My dad came back shortly after so he could finally meet his grandson. Merbaby passed his hearing test. The lactation consultant confirmed that we were on a role and didn't even need her help. My mom came to visit and the photographer was able to snap some pictures of our little family.

Just when we were feeling pretty good about this whole parenting thing and ready to get the heck out of that hospital, we were told that his bilirubin levels were elevated. It wasn't extremely high so the pediatrician suggested that we put him in the biliblanket overnight. If the levels dropped, we could go home the next day. If not, I would be discharged but Merbaby would have to go to the NICU. We were also warned that Night #2 is when babies make up for lost time. The nurse told me to prepare to feed all night long and she was right! I woke up at 11 PM to his hungry cries. I put him on my boob and he was on them sucking until 6 or 7 the next morning. All whilst being wrapped up in a hot biliblanket. The nurse checked his temperature every hour to make sure he wasn't overheating. At one point, we had to take him off for an hour to let him cool down because his temperature had risen above 100 degrees! But, the blanket did the trick! His levels dropped and he was cleared to go home on Day 3!

This was also the day that I pissed all over myself. Everything down there feels really weird and unusual after giving birth so I wasn't really aware that I needed to pee until it was too late. Mr. Merman was asleep and I was feeding the baby. But I knew I needed to get up and go so I yelled for him to take the baby. As soon as I stood up from the bed, pee was pouring out everywhere. I had absolutely no control and couldn't make it stop. I waddled to the bathroom just in time to get the final bit into the toilet. The poor nurse couldn't believe how much pee was on the floor. She told me to make myself go every 2 hours after that. Oops!

Day 3- Going Home
After 5 days of being in the hospital, we could not wait to get home! It felt like a victory when they finally released us. Mr. Merman packed everything up while I tried to dress myself and the baby. His going home outfit was way too big and I couldn't find the smaller outfit I'd packed so our little miracle IVF baby went home in a white onesie and gray pants. But, at least we matched as I also had on a white shirt and gray pants. Totally unplanned!

The nurse's assistant rolled me and Merbaby out to the curb where Mr. Merman picked us up. It felt so good to be in the sunlight with fresh air on my face. I could have sat outside forever! Being at home felt amazing too. No more interruptions during naps, no more nurses poking around on my poor belly. I was able to shower and get in clean clothes. We all know how good that feels. I laid back in the recliner in our nursery and nursed my sweet baby in his bedroom. It was the most glorious feeling!

My stepdad brought our dog over so that they could both meet Merbaby. Mr. Merman and I went outside to greet and love all over her without the baby. She licked my face like she hadn't seen me in years. We brought her inside to meet the baby and she went nuts smelling him and licking his toes. My sister and Mom had given her some of Merbaby's hospital hats to smell while we were gone. She actually slept with one and put the other in her crate so I think she had an idea of what was happening. She knew that new human smell was related to mommy and daddy. I like to think so anyways...

Our neighbors left dinner and dessert on our porch. They also decorated our mailbox with Baby Boy balloons. My mom and sister had decorated the house and left some treats out with the sweetest cards ever. I literally just stood in the kitchen and cried for a minute because it was real! After all that we'd been through, I was at home with my baby!!! I had become a mom!

Jaundice Continues...
We had to see the pediatrician early the next morning (day 4) to check his bili levels which had doubled! So a bilibed was delivered to our house and he had to be on it constantly. The only time we were supposed to take him off was when he was eating. At first, it was torture. We have this new baby we can't even hold or cuddle with even when he was crying. But the torture finally turned to relief when he fell asleep and stayed asleep for almost 5 straight hours. We got more sleep than we'd had in days!

Our sweet furbaby wanting to help care for Merbaby in his bilibed

We were back at the pediatrician the next morning (day 5) and his bili levels had dropped. We were told to take a day off from the bilibed to see if the levels stabilized. We also met with the lactation consultant that morning just so I could make sure we were doing everything right. According to her, I was one of the easiest patients she'd ever had. He was latching perfectly. My milk had come in and there was plenty of it. He was transferring plenty of milk.  Hallelujah!! Not being able to breastfeed was one of my biggest fears. My body may not know how to conceive a baby and it may not know how to induce labor but it does know how to feed a child! Go, Boobies, Go!

One more trip to the pediatrician on day 6 confirmed that his bili levels had evened out and we were safe to discontinue treatment. We could finally move on with life as a new family without making a daily trip to the doctor's office.


Love
Since then, we've been trying to figure out life with a new family member. I'm so incredibly thankful for every stressful moment with this baby. No one and nothing can prepare you for this stage and it's a tough one. But I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm thankful for every tear he cries, scream he screams, and for all the explosive diapers, poop rockets, and sleepless nights. I just love him so much, it's indescribable.