Baby On Hold : Halfway There

Believe it or not, I'm 20 weeks 2 days pregnant today! Time is moving very slowly but I also can't believe we're already halfway there. Actually, I think we're more than halfway there but I'll get into that in a little bit.

I've gained 10 pounds so far! Which only freaks me out a little bit. My belly is starting to show enough that I can't wear normal clothes anymore. Honestly, I don't ever want to wear normal clothes again because maternity clothes are so incredibly comfortable! My search for long dress pants wasn't delivering results so my husband drove me to Motherhood Maternity. I had to give in to the over-priced brand because the dress pants they have are amazing! They were plenty long enough and looked really great on me. So, I currently have one awesome pair of dress pants, two pairs of leggings, and two pairs of jeans. My weekly work outfits are on a rotation so that I'm wearing the dress pants twice, maxi-skirt once, jeans once, and leggings once. I refuse to buy more clothes that I'll only wear for a few more months.

20 Week Bump!

I've started feeling movement since the last post. Describing how it feels is impossible though. People describe it as feeling like gas or little flutters but that's not the case at all. It just feels like something is moving that I have no control of... kind of like a muscle spasm but not painful at all. Anyways, I started feeling him around 16-17 weeks. It has grown increasingly consistent since then and I'm loving it! I feel him mostly when driving home from work and right before bed. They say the baby is most active at night so I've been looking forward to feeling those strong nightly kicks. I stayed up late on Friday watching a movie and felt him moving more than ever before. There was one really strong kick that put me over the moon! Too bad we can't stay up that late every night.

Anatomy Scan
This won't be easy to write about because it wasn't the "everything looks great! Your baby is totally healthy" scan we were hoping for. I know it could be worse so I'm trying to remind myself of that. This will also explain why I don't think we'll go full term.

I was given the choice to do my anatomy scan with the OB or with the specialist. IVF babies have a higher risk of heart defects so sometimes it's best to see a specialist for the anatomy scan so that's what I decided to do. My friend went there for hers and highly recommended it. My husband worked from home on Tuesday so he could join me. The u/s tech walked us through what we were seeing on the screen. We could see the four chambers of the heart (amazing, right?!), we saw the kidneys, bladder, brain, lungs, etc. Baby boy was curled up in a ball with his knees by his head. He was rolling all around but wouldn't straighten out. He threw his hand up at one point and we got to see all the little fingers. She was also able to confirm that he is, in fact, a boy. She showed us where the umbilical cord was attached to him then changed the view so that we could see the blood flow through the umbilical cord. I thought it looked really short but since I'm no doctor I brushed the thought away. After the scan was finished, I was able to relive my bladder while we waited for the doctor to come in.

When the doctor came in, he did another scan so that he could see everything for himself. While scanning, he asked if I'd had any bleeding or heavy leakage, like water coming out. I thought it was weird that he asked this but answered him hoping it was just a normal question. No, I haven't had any leakage or bleeding at all, just the usual increased amounts of cervical mucus.

As it turns out, both of my gut instincts were right (about the umbilical cord looking short and thinking his question was weird). He explained that everything looks great with the baby. However, my umbilical cord is attached at the edge of the placenta rather than in the middle. All he said about this is that we'll have to keep an eye on it as the baby continues to grow. Then he told us that the fluid around the baby is low. He wants us to come back in 3 weeks to check it out; before we hit viability. My husband asked what would happen if the fluid levels continued to decrease. His answers wasn't very reassuring. He told us that it was out of our control so we shouldn't worry about it. There's nothing we can do in that situation. However, he did tell me, "not to drown [myself] but to stay hydrated."

Our balled up baby boy at 19 + 4 weeks!

I refuse to google what both of these mean cause I know it'll just freak me out even more. I had a friend look it up and tell me the bare minimum. She found something called "marginal insertion of the umbilical cord." It means that the umbilical cord is attached to the edge of the placenta and much shorter than normal. I took to Reddit to see if anyone had experienced this. Many women said that it just meant they had to be monitored to make sure the baby was getting enough nutrients and growing correctly. Some women had to have a scheduled c-section because the short umbilical cord makes vaginal birth risky. Other women said they went into labor a little early but everything was okay. Knowing all of this has helped calm my nerves on this issue. But, not on the low fluids.

There weren't many women on Reddit who had experienced low fluid. The ones who had experience this said that it worked itself out, which is what the doctor told me might happen. I know someone personally who had to be induced and go into emergency labor because her fluid was completely dried up. But she was at least 35 weeks. Much further along than I am!
I'm a worried mess! All I can think about is how we may have to force labor way too early if the levels don't increase. I'm also worried that we won't make it to viability before this happens. I've started guzzling water everyday. I'm getting at least 100 oz. a day and have cut out my afternoon walks just to be safe. I've noticed some changes since increasing my water intake. My stomach is harder and fuller. The baby's movements feel more muffled, which I'm hoping is a sign that the fluid has increased. Maybe I wasn't drinking enough before this?
These next 3 weeks can't get here fast enough. I just want to know if drinking all this water is helping and if my baby is going to make it. I dreamed that we lost him the night after that appointment and woke up in tears. It was unbearable! It almost feels like I'm back in the limbo world or infertility, wondering what we'll do if we lose this baby. Will we try again? Will we give up? Will we adopt? Will we decide to live kid-free? Ugh! It's a place I've enjoyed getting a break from and am not ready to go back to.

All I can do now is chug all the water, eat healthy, breath easier with every baby movement, and hope for the best. Three weeks seems so far away!

Centering
We had our first Centering class/appointment a few weeks ago. I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet. We talked about nutrition and diet. It felt a little pointless as I already knew everything they told me and eat a rather balanced diet. We did an activity that was supposed to open our eyes to how much junk food we were actually eating. Surprisingly, my highest group was vegetables. I don't think the midwife was expecting that cause she seemed really shocked and then congratulated me. To be honest, being gluten free makes healthy eating a lot easier. If I was able to eat gluten, I think I'd be downing lots of fast-food.

The rest of the appointment seemed to be a vent fest about all the symptoms and pains the other women were experiencing. As I'm not having any problems, this was kind of boring to sit through. It did help me feel better about my pregnancy lifestyle though. Exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet, sleeping comfortable with my Snoogle, only peeing once per night... yeah, I think I'm doing okay.

My biggest concern about this week's appointment is whether I'll have time to talk to the midwife about my anatomy scan. I'd rather not do it with the whole group around. Do they allow private time for personal questions and concerns? We shall see!

Yoga
I started going to prenatal yoga classes. I've been to two so far and am really enjoying it. There are lots of pelvic floors exercises, stretches that help with indigestion, hip pain, and charlie horses. It's very relaxing and gives me ideas for stretching at home. They even have a little smoothie bar so I've been leaving with a kale concoction each week. I'm hoping tonight's class will help me relax and calm down from the this week's anatomy scan results.

I'm not quite at this point but it does make me laugh!

Family Updates
Remember Mr. Merman's infected cyst I mentioned in the last post? It never did get better so he ended up having it removed. Luckily, everything is healing nicely and looks good. But now he has another one developing on his chest so we're keeping an eye on it.

The same day he had his cyst removed, we found out that his dad was having surgery on his face! Apparently, he went in to have a grey spot of skin on his nostril checked out at the beginning of January. The biopsy revealed that it was Melanoma so he had part of the nostril, cheek, and upper lip removed! I refused to look at the picture because my husband said it was extremely disturbing. He went to a plastic surgeon 4 days after the surgery. They took a skin graph from his shoulder to use on his face. It has been about 3 weeks since the skin graph and we haven't really gotten an update. We're just crossing our fingers and hoping that it takes and that they got rid of all the melanoma.

Earlier this week, my sister went to the dermatologist to have her most recent melanoma removal spot examined. While she was there, they found another suspicious mole and removed it to take a biopsy. I really hope it comes back negative. The last thing she needs is a THIRD surgery for melanoma. Can the girl get a break in life?!

I don't know what the deal is with skin problems in our family but you better believe we'll be dousing our little guy in sunscreen every time he steps outside the house. Having melanoma on both sides of the family really worries me. He won't ever be allowed in a tanning bed and will get many a lecture about skin cancer and sun exposure from me. I'm also hoping my husband and I are able to escape it.

Helen
In happier news, my girls and I took a weekend trip to Helen, Georgia for MLK weekend. We had such a fun time! We spent the first day hiking and going into town to shop and eat. I ended up getting really sick and we had to rush back to the cabin. Gluten is the culprit! I thought I ordered a safe lunch (sausage, grilled veggies, and mashed potatoes). The waitress assured me that the potatoes were gluten free. Within an hour of eating, it hit pretty hard and I had to run inside an ice cream shop to use their facilities. I haven't experienced anything like this since I quit eating gluten over a year ago. Moral of the story: Don't eat out! It's not worth it!

I stuck my feet in the hot tub that night while my friends enjoyed the luxury of being fully emerged in the steamy hot glory whilst enjoying goblets of wine. Jealous? What do you mean? I'll give up wine and hot tubs any day if it means I get a baby.

We spent the second day touring some of the wineries in North Georgia. I actually really enjoyed it and saved lots of money as a spectator and designated driver. The last winery had a beautiful view of the mountains. I could have sat out there forever. The weather was abnormally warm and beautiful. It was an amazing weekend with the bestest friends a girl could have.
I must admit that being sober was pretty entertaining. There was lots of random dancing, drunk tears and hugs, then silly nonsensical conversations. Oh how I love my friends!

Cute Things Kids Say
I think I'll try to end each post with the funny and cute things children say about pregnancy. Being a teacher, I'm getting a lot of funny comments and parenting advice from students. A few students have started to notice my growing belly and asked if I was pregnant. Former students are beginning to hear it through the grapevine. It is slowly becoming the topic of conversation every time I walk in a room. However, I'm still waiting for my 5th grade math group to notice. One of them complimented me on being "so skinny" last week. I was in complete disbelief! I can't wait til they finally figure it out.

My favorite comments from this week:
"Are you really having a baby? Why do you want one of those? They hurt your stomach!"
"Why can't you have a girl for once? Why does it ghave to be a boy? You should just name him Victoria."
Because I wore a loose fitting shirt one day, "Where did the baby go? Are you still having him?"
When a little girl saw me holding a Starbucks cup, "NO CAFFEINE FOR THE BABY!"
"You need to eat more to help that baby grow! Just like <another pregnant teacher> because her baby is so big!" (This other pregnant teacher is 32 weeks. There's definitely a reason she's bigger than me).

The Superbowl is tonight and our team actually made it! GO FALCONS!

Let's hope these next 3 weeks go by quickly and that our next ultrasound shows normal fluid levels and a growing, healthy baby.