Solids, Flu Season, and Swings... OH MY!

I'm a total blogging slacker. I can't believe that I haven't blogged in two months! So much has changed in that amount of time and I wish I'd written about it to capture each memory. First off, things are getting better and easier. Reading my prior post made me realize just how far we've come. (It stressed me out a little too).

As of today, Merbaby is about 7 1/2 months old. He now has 6 teeth and I'm 80% sure another is pushing its way through as I type. At his latest appointment he was right around 17 pounds and over 26 inches long. He is my whole world. I can't even begin to describe the happiness that comes from being his mommy. This week is winter break so I'm off the entire week, which means more time with my baby boy! (He's napping as I type so we'll see how much I can get done before he wakes). 

Introducing Solids... Baby Led Weaning Style! 

This has been the most exciting thing we've started since my last post. I did a lot more research on Baby Led Weaning and joined an online support group. I read the introduction to the cookbook, which eased my mind and provided the motivation I needed to try it. Mr. Merman and I discussed it and he was 100% sure we should try it out. We drove 45 minutes to Ikea to purchase the infamous $25 highchair and started letting him sit at the table with us so he could familiarize himself with the process of mealtime.

At our 6-month appointment, the pediatrician and I discussed BLW vs. Purees. He was very supportive and mentioned that he has plenty of patients that do BLW and love it. He advised that we still introduce new foods and give it 3 days to watch for allergic reactions. He also mentioned that he has families who do the traditional pureed baby foods and that, no matter what, the babies are healthy and happy. Ultimately, he was leaving it up to me. But before I left, he commented on a 15-month-old that is still eating purees because he just won't transition to real food. And that was all I needed to hear to push me into making the final decision. (I can't imagine having a 15-month-old eatingonly purees)! We jumped right in when Merbaby was a little more than 6 months old and started with avocado. 

Okay, okay. "Jumping right in" may not be the right term. First, I attended a family/infant CPR and first aid class to be trained on how to revive or save a choking infant. Then, I decided we would start with something mushy and only give him that for 3 nights so that I could ease myself into the idea of it. Finally, I mustered up the courage and we gave him one slice of avocado while I sat on the edge of my chair ready to pop into action if he started choking. 

He did so well! I think he only gagged once and it wasn't nearly as scary as we thought it would be. After 3 nights of this, I decided to go a little further and we started giving him a few different things: green beans, zucchini, eggs, pancake, pasta noodles, steamed bell peppers and shredded carrot sticks, and more. Now, here we are! A month later and he's eating full meals with us. We've moved meal time to the dining room so that we can have a family dinner every night. Unfortunately, Mr. Merman doesn't always get home in time to eat by 5:30 or 6 so Merbaby and I have a lot of one-on-one dinners but I love it! It's like having a date with my favorite guy every single night. Clean-up by myself with a tired baby isn't so much fun on my own though...

Watching him eat meat gives me heart palpitations but he's getting better and better each time. He has learned how to manipulate chicken and swallow it rather well but it produces more gags than other foods. His absolute favorite food right now is blackberries and raspberries. He also loves salmon. Earlier this week, I made little mini pasta casseroles for him. Our big casserole had ground sausage in it and I'm not ready for him to experience that. So, I made a meat-free, salt-free version of it and he couldn't get enough! He tried asparagus spears and swallowed them right up. 

Another exciting eating adventure has been the SPOON!  We've been practicing with plain yogurt during breakfast and he took to it like he'd been spoon feeding himself for ages. Other than grabbing the wrong end of the spoon and making a huge mess, it has been pretty successful. The best entertainment is when he throws the spoon overboard and yogurt goes splattering all over the floor, the dog, the wall, our legs, the chairs... you get the idea.

trying seaweed for the first time

Overall, BLW has been very successful! I'm so glad we chose to do this. I sit down every other weekend and plan our meals for 2 weeks in advance. This was recommended by the authors of the BLW cookbook to deter families from eating the same meals/foods over and over. It's so important for Merbaby to experience a variety of flavors and textures during this time when his tastebuds are developing and he's learning preferences. We want him to be able to enjoy and love several different flavors, especially vegetables. By planning meals well in advance, I'm able to ensure that he's getting an assortment of foods. It has also forced me to eat better as we're including fruits and more vegetables with every meal. I'm not using salt since Merbaby can't have any. And, we're not resorting to pizza, fast food, and chips on nights that we're tired or busy. I'm hopeful that by doing this, we're creating am open-minded child who is willing and wanting to eat healthy foods for a lifetime and that we're not teaching him that he has to finish his plate. He needs to feel that it's okay to stop eating when he's full.

Check out some pictures from our adventures into food:

bell peppers, onions, sweet potatoes, cheese toast, and beef

Pad Thai noodles, carrots, celery,
green &yellow bell peppers, chicken, & baby corn

Flu Epidemic 
Mark 2018 as "The Year of the Flu!" The vaccine has proven to be 30% effective in our nation this year but reports are showing that it is even lower in certain areas, ours included! In fact, our state seems to be getting the worst of it as far as the number of deaths. The pediatrician gave a disclaimer that the flu shot is only 10% effective right now before we could agree to give it to Merbaby. With that said, Mr. Merman and I both got our flu shots through work in the early days of fall. I opted in for Merbaby to get his in early January. We were all protected as much as we possibly could be.

I've never had the flu before. Mr. Merman has had it several times and I've never caught it from him so I was honestly shocked when... BOM! BOM! BOM! I got the flu, type A. :(

Exactly 2 weeks after Merbaby had his flu shot, after being off for a week due to snow, I woke up feeling pretty crappy. My throat was sore and my skin felt prickly. But the thermometer showed a normal temperature and I hated to call in to work after having a whole week off. So, I sucked it up and went about the day as usual. As the day went on, I knew something was up. I couldn't drink my coffee, I could barely eat lunch, and my chest felt like it was on fire every time I coughed. I had never experienced this before. My students kept telling me that I looked really different. Leave it up to kids to let you know the truth. One girl asked if I'd forgotten my make-up cause I looked terrible and should probably go home.

I made it through the work day! Once I got home, my temp was 101.2! I took the next day off. Mr. Merman did daycare duty and I alternated the Tylenol and Ibuprofen to treat the fever. In complete denial that I had the flu, I took naps, soaked in the tub with epsom salt, and kept brushing off everyone's encouragements to get to the doctor. At the last minute, I decided to just go get tested so I'd have an answer. But, every. single. clinic. was booked up with no appointments open. The walk-in wait time was almost 2 hours. After an hour of searching, I finally found a clinic that could get me in later that evening but it meant that I would have to take Merbaby with me, which made me so nervous. But I did it anyways (with motivation from Mr. Merman). The NP swabbed my nose while I was breastfeeding Merbaby in hopes that feeding him in that environment would fight off the germs. It threw me into a sneezing fit. Yep, I surely was sneezing all over my poor baby. Within seconds of starting the test, it came out positive and she declared that I had the flu. For the first time in my life! She wrote a note to my employer and told me I couldn't return to work for a full week! All I could think about was how I had just sneezed my contagious-airborne flu germs all over my baby and a pregnant nurse practitioner. The next patient to enter was going to breathe in that air. I'd been coughing and sneezing at work with all my students around the day before. GUILTY IS ME!

I acquired a mask, a Tamiflu prescription, and Probiotics then got the HELL out of that place so as not to infect anyone else. I was so afraid that Merbaby's babysitter was going to ask that I keep him home all week to prevent spreading possible flu germs to all the other children. Fortunately, she did not. She was very supportive of my staying home and resting. I did everything in my power to ensure that I wasn't sending flu germs to daycare with him. The next 3 days were spent napping, taking bubble baths, and binge watching TV (a luxury I've missed since having a baby). My fever broke 3 nights in so I spent the next day cleaning every inch of the house and washing everything I touched. By some kind of miracle, neither Merbaby nor Mr. Merman caught the flu from me.

Fast forward two more weeks... Mr. Merman texts me halfway through the day that he has a fever. By the time I got home that evening, he wasn't looking well at all. I gave him a mask, told him to steer clear of us, take some Tylenol and make an appointment. Sure enough- FLU! Here we go again! His symptoms lasted much longer and seemed worse than mine. He slept in the guest room for over a week so as not to wake me up or fill the room with his germs. I definitely didn't want Merbaby to catch it so I took care of Merbaby on my own until Merman's fever was gone. It was pretty exhausting and I was more than glad when he was finally feeling well and able to help with the baby again. But, the good news is that Merbaby never caught the flu from either of us! And I'm claiming that my breastmilk did the job.

The pediatrician and the NP at the clinic told me that breastfeeding was the best thing I could do. My milk was creating antibodies to fight the flu before I even knew I had it. No lie, I even chugged a few ounces while I was sick hoping it might help fight it faster. They say this season will last til the end of May! Let's just hope Merbaby can avoid the germs and continue to be healthy.

Swinging Away
I know I haven't been able to write about all the snow we've had this year. It's very unusual to have so much snow where we live but I've enjoyed the extra time off work with my little dude. Ironically, it's still the middle of winter and our temperatures are now hitting mid-70's. The peeping frogs are out, Cheery Blossoms are blooming, and bugs are starting to appear. All of this means that it's the perfect time to get outside and PLAY!

On Sunday, we decided to walk up to the neighborhood playground and let Merbaby try out the baby swing. He didn't know what to think. He was smiling and giggling. It was absolutely precious. I took him down the slide in my lap and we let the dog run around. It was such a nice family outing, something I've always dreamed of having and thought I may never get once I was diagnosed with DOR.

Since Sunday, we've been back twice. Yesterday was GORGEOUS so I took Merbaby to the local park to swing then jogged a little over 2 miles while he rode in the stroller, which he also loved. After running errands today, I stopped at the top of the neighborhood and let him swing again for about 5 minutes. Today was probably the most fun he had with it. He was laughing and squealing the whole time. I'm so ready to spend spring and summer break with this cutie!


Other Fun Tidbits
We're working on crawling. He has started to get up on all 4's and rock. Sometimes, he's able to move himself forward but mostly he gets tired and gives up. He also loves to be upright and is trying really hard to pull himself up on toys and people. It won't be long til we've got a mobile baby on our hands.

He's cooing and being cute but hasn't really started making consonant sounds. There have been a few <G> sounds here and there but nothing more than that. However, he does like to blow spit bubbles which is almost the same as producing the <B> sound, right?

Sleep is mostly pretty awesome. For about 2 months, we've had nights with only 1 wake-up and several nights where he slept 10+ hours without waking up at all. A friend of mine did lots of research on dropping the night feeds and getting baby to sleep off the boob. She was reading the Ferber Method book and sharing what she read. I took her information and ran with it. Within just a few days, he had dropped his first feeding (hence the longer sleep patterns) and was able to fall asleep on his own without nursing. Both of these things have changed our lives drastically. Bedtime no longer lasts 45 minutes! We start at 7 with PJ's, massage, teeth brushing, and nursing. He's almost always asleep within 15-20 minutes of that. It's unreal and feels so good to have a little extra time at night to read, watch a show, spend time with Mr. Merman, and/or go to bed super early. Since the last blog post, we transitioned from the swaddle (arms out) to a sleep sack. He wasn't even phased by it and transitioned like it was no big deal.

He has begun to interact with the dog more by reaching out and grabbing her, taking her toys, making sounds at her when she whines or barks. He adores his dog and it is so fun to watch them together. Piper loves him too! She is so excited when he wakes in the morning. Running to his door, she can't wait to greet him. As soon as the door opens, she runs to the crib and starts trying to lick or touch him through the railings. He just smiles down at her while my heart is just melting away the whole time.

The in-laws are coming to visit this weekend. They haven't seen him since he was barely 3 months old so we're very glad they can come. They've both been having medical issues which has made it difficult to visit. I know they are heartbroken and I feel so terrible that we can't just hop on a plane to go see them. After speaking with the doctor, they decided to come visit now. My FIL will be having back surgery soon and the recovery could take a good bit of time.

I have a dentist appointment in the morning and will be leaving Merbaby with my dad. This man has 2 daughters and watched my niece all the time when she was a baby but I'm still nervous about it for some reason. I'll likely only be gone an hour (if that) and know everything will be fine but I'm still going over every little detail in my brain so that I don't forget to tell him.

Speaking of grandparents and surgeries, my mom had surgery on her foot right before Christmas so she's been recovering from that. We haven't asked her to babysit because we wanted her to be able to heal completely and not feel obligated to watch our kid. But she's doing better now and we've already got a couple of dates lined up for March. I'm looking forward to going out with my husband at night for a change. As much as I love this little guy, it's so nice to get out and have some adult time. I didn't realize how much I needed that time until the only sitter I trust had surgery... leaving us without any time together for over 2 months.

Hey, look! I finished another blog entry. It only took 2 days, 2 naps, and an hourish after bedtime to finally wrap it up. I love this new life of mine. Being a mom is even more amazing than I thought it would be. In all honesty, I think I have infertility to thank for that. 

Almost 6 Months Old?!?

I can't believe my baby is almost 6 months! I swore that I'd keep this blog updated with all the little memories and fun tidbits from each developmental stage of his life. But it has proved to be almost impossible as a working mother. Finding time to do anything is pretty difficult. So, here I am, at 23 weeks old trying to capture all of the fond memories of my little man's life.

First of All
I'd like to start with the sappy, emotional stuff. Sometimes I look at him and wonder how I got so lucky. After all we went through, it still amazes me that this child is mine. He is beyond precious and I am infatuated with every little part of him. People always say that you don't know love until you have a child. This used to infuriate me when struggling with infertility but I get it now. The love I feel for him is indescribable. My heart is overcome with joy and happiness every single time I think about him. As sleep-deprived as I may be, I thoroughly enjoy the 2 AM wake-ups to nurse and cuddle him back to sleep. Some nights, I just keep holding and rocking him while he sleeps on my chest. It's worth the loss of sleep because we will never get this time back. These sweet baby days go quickly!

Honest Truth
Now I'm going to share the cold, hard truth of Mommyhood with a new baby. It's HARD! I sometimes feel appreciative for the infertility experience because it really helps me put life into perspective on the worst of days. Instead of complaining, I'm able to recall how I felt whilst dealing with infertility treatments. I wanted nothing more than to be a mommy. Now that I am one, I can look at my sweet boy and remind myself how much better having a son is. I'd rather lose sleep, miss meals, and give up "me time" than experience the grief of failed infertility treatments again.

Some days are amazing and I am the happiest woman on earth. Other days, I'm a mess and so stressed out or tired that I just cry. Mr. Merman is concerned with the crying but it's not a sad cry. It's just an emotional, tired cry... which is impossible to explain. I likely seem crazy trying to reiterate the fact that I am genuinely happy for the first time in a really long time, even though I do cry a lot more now.

For example, yesterday was one of the tough days. I was recovering from a night of 4 wake-ups. My right eye was twitching, both eyes bloodshot, struggling to keep my head up. My alarm went off at 5 AM and I snoozed til 5:40! Merbaby was still sleeping and I was so exhausted that I just couldn't get up. Once I was up, I couldn't find jeans that fit because I'm at that weird in-between phase. Maternity clothes are too big but normal clothes are still too small. Once I was finally dressed, I had 6 minutes to feed myself, make coffee, load the car, get Baby ready, and pull out of the driveway to get him to daycare on my way to work. Otherwise, I'd be late. All I wanted was to go to Starbucks for good coffee and a breakfast sandwich! But because I have to take Merbaby to daycare now, I no longer have time to stop in the mornings, especially when I'm running so late.
I asked Mr. Merman if he'd be interested in doing daycare drop-off but could tell he didn't really want to squeeze it into his schedule. (Daycare is completely out of the way for his drive to work). Instead, he got the baby ready and made my coffee to help me get out of the door faster. I started crying as I was packing the car to go. Not sure why but I think it was mostly because I was just so sleepy and hungry with no time to solve either problem. As luck would have it, I drove away without my work bag and had to go back home to get it, making me even later. Cue more tears. Not going to lie, I was also pretty upset with Mr. Merman. He doesn't have to do deal with a mad rush to get to daycare and work every morning. Also, his job provides coffee and food so he doesn't have to worry about getting those things himself. (So unfair!)

Once at work (30 minutes late), I cried a few more times. Don't ask me why or what I cried about cause I really don't remember.

Last night, Mr. Merman asked how I was doing and I was honest with him: This is hard. I'm sleep deprived. I hate working! I have severe mom-guilt and don't like leaving my baby everyday. I constantly think about him and miss him. I hate that I'm in such a rush in the mornings and then barely see him once I'm home in the afternoons. Because I work, it's really hard to have dinner made each night plus get daily chores and errands accomplished. If I do these things, I have to give up quality play time with Merbaby. And it kills me! So I sacrifice those things which lead to me not having meals or being prepared for work. Mr. Merman does SO MUCH to help but his commute to work limits how much time he has at home, which leaves a lot of the daily tasks on me. It's pretty overwhelming, especially this time of year.

So, he went out last night to run some holiday errands and pick up dinner. I was past the point of starving when he got home (nursing hunger is intense) so I dug right into the salad he picked up for me. One bite, and I knew something was up. Chick-Fil-A forgot to substitute the spicy chicken with the gluten-free grilled chicken. It clearly showed that the order had been adjusted on the receipt but the person making the salad failed to do it correctly meaning I couldn't eat it. No dinner. I didn't have the heart to send Mr. Merman back out to replace it. Plus, it was getting late and I just needed sleep. Crying, I poured myself a bowl of cereal and that was my dinner. I just wanted to eat a normal meal with some meat and protein. Then just as I laid down to sleep at 10 PM, Merbaby woke up screaming. I held back the tears as I climbed back out of bed, reminding myself that lack of sleep = extra cuddles. One day, I'll sleep again. But for now, I'll take my 5-6 hours (if we're lucky) of interrupted sleep.
And that's the honest truth.

Momming is hard.

Baby Milestones
Let's talk about happy things now. Merbaby has 2 teeth already! The first one appeared the day after his 4-month birthday. He had been overly fussy and regressing in sleep but we couldn't figure out why. Then a tooth popped up! The second tooth was trying to cut through for 2 whole weeks. It was a long, grueling 2 weeks. 4-5 wake-ups per night. Screaming cries and refusing to nurse for long periods of time. He wanted to be held constantly. Naps were short or non-existent. But then that second little tooth cut through and things returned to normal. And now he has the most precious smile! My heart melts when he flashes those pearly whites. It seems that he's got a few more starting to push through so we're prepared! Tylenol works wonders but I hate giving it to him too often. So it's definitely a last resort.

He's not able to sit up on his own yet but we're working on it. It's obvious that he's getting stronger. He's rolling all over the place and pushing up with his hands. We've started putting toys out in front of him to encourage crawling/scooting. He's beginning to show signs of scooting but mostly rolls over until he reaches the toy. It's so freaking adorable!

He "talks" so much now. Every time he sneezes, it's followed by an onslaught of coos and sounds. He's got the cutest little voice, raspy and low-pitch. I could just listen to him forever. He is already taking turns when "talking." He makes noise and then I say something back. He listens to me then makes more sounds. I love how intensely he watches our mouths when we're talking to him. Singing is also something he loves. If I begin singing while he's crying, he instantly stops to listen. He even has favorite songs that bring on a smile, more "talking", and excited baby kicks. Does anyone remember The Elephant Show? "Skinna-ma-rinky-dinky-dink" is his absolute favorite song.


Laughing has begun! He used to have little chuckles and giggles but they were impossible to bring on. Now, we're beginning to get those good belly laughs. He's ticklish on his armpits and behind his neck. Tickling these spots causes squeals of delight followed by the sweetest little laugh. He's also beginning to laugh at us when we make faces or funny noises. There is nothing more precious than a good baby laugh.

Merbaby love Piper! She kisses all over him, including in the mouth. ha! We're constantly having to get her to stop. But he doesn't mind. His eyes light up when he sees her and his smile grows so big when she's licking all over him. He is now reaching out for her and grabbing chunks of hair or grabbing her leg. She is doing really well with it as we haven't seen any signs of aggression yet. He loves watching her play. He'll roll all around the floor trying to follow her. That poor dog is going to be in trouble when he starts crawling.

Right now, his favorite toy is the Finding Nemo Jumpy (that's what I call it anyways). He bounces all around and plays with the different toys on it. He hasn't figured out how to turn himself so we do it for him. But those little legs are getting so much exercise. We've attempted to use the doorway jumper but he's just not ready. He goes limp and starts crying soon after we put him in it. I think the next step is to get toys that can be used while sitting up and maybe a walker?

Solids and Signing
We will begin both of these next month, once Merbaby is 6 months old. I have started doing some signing (milk & all done) just to see his reaction. He does watch and seems very interested but I doubt that he's making any connections at this point. I'm looking into purchasing a DVD or some sort of material to refresh my memory. It has been about 11 years since I learned baby signing as a nanny. I may be rusty but am so excited to be able to communicate with my baby soon!

As far as solids go, we're planning to do baby-led weaning. Originally, I was against it. My heart can't handle a choking/gagging baby and I wasn't willing to put myself through that anxiety-ridden process. But the more I read and learn, the more I think I may just need to suck it up and try it. However, I have already started a baby food stash so there will be more discussion on this topic. YouTube has some good videos that I've sent to Mr. Merman. We'll have to talk more before we decide whether or not we want to dive in full force.

Breastfeeding
Things are going really well with breastfeeding. We are still 100% exclusively breastfed. I love everything about it except the pumping. This is yet another reason that I wish I wasn't a working mom. The number one reason I hate pumping is that I am stuck in my office chair. It is so hard to get a lot of teaching work done when you're stuck in a chair. Preparing materials for lessons, gathering paperwork, creating and updating files, running errands, and attending meetings is nearly impossible. And I've definitely had crying sessions over the stress of it. I refuse to stay late at work to get these things done. Being with my baby is more important so if it can't get things done during my work hours, then it just doesn't get done. Any teacher knows that this makes successful teaching impossible but I've made it work. Baby First. Job second. :)

Me at work for an hour+ each day.
Except this lady makes it look easy.

Coming up with a pumping schedule at work was pretty easy and my body caught on quickly. At first, I was pumping double and even triple the amount needed for one meal. This meant that I was able to freeze and save a lot of extra milk! But that oversupply has leveled out since then. Pumping sessions now produce about 5-8 oz., which is enough for one meal with a little extra.

I pump twice at work. Once at 7:40 AM and again at 11:40 AM. Both sessions last 30 minutes. If I have extra time, I try to pump another 10 minutes with each session to collect extra milk for freezing or emergencies. I send 15 oz. to daycare each day so it's a little scary now that I'm not experiencing oversupply. There have been days that I had to reach into the frozen stash so that he'd have enough to eat at daycare.

Speaking of daycare...

Daycare
I still have mixed feelings about him being at an in-home daycare. Lots of worries come up: What if something happens to the sitter and no one else is there to watch the babies or take care of her? What if the sitter's kids have an emergency and she can't leave because she has all of the other babies? What if one of the babies has an emergency and she still has 5 other kids to attend to? I could keep going but you get the idea.

However, I do love that he is in a home setting. He has only been sick one time and it was just a little cold. (My other new mommy friends have babies that are getting sick every other week from being in a real daycare). I love that the sitter plays music all day, dances with him, and reads to him. She has a basement to hunker down in if there is bad weather. He gets really good naps because she can put him in a dark room with white noise. I can leave extra milk in her freezer in case of an emergency. He is with one teacher the entire day. And so much more! These are all things that don't happen at a normal daycare.

He seems to enjoy being there. He smiles and laughs at her and has even started reaching for her. She does holiday crafts with them and has little themed parties. Every craft has the date and a foot or hand print so we will be keeping them as forever-memories. Because she has 4 kids of her own and 8 grandkids, she is filled with knowledge and advice for each developmental stage. I love that he is watching older babies as they crawl, walk, and play so that he can learn  from them and experience daily social interaction.

All in all, daycare is going really well. I'm happy with our decision and he is learning and loving his time there.



I'm not sure how to wrap this post up. There is so much more I want to write about: Baby's first snow, his first vacation, first night away from home, and all the holiday fun. I have a feeling that I'll be spending Christmas break trying to catch up on all these big moments. I've just got to find some time...

Last Day of Leave

I can't believe that today is my last day of Maternity Leave. I am a mix of emotions as I reflect on the past 2 months and look forward to the future. As I type, Merbaby is lying on his playmat intently focused on the blue dog toy hanging in front of him. His left fist is up as he works hard to make contact with the blue dog. His little legs are kicking and his lips are puckered up in concentration. And my heart melts each time I look at him. My sweet, precious boy is already growing and developing so much! Its so unfair that I can't spend everyday at home with him.

Chaos of the Past Couple of Months
I swore that I would blog all through maternity leave to help savor every sweet little memory of this time that goes by so fast. That turned out to be a big fat FAILURE! Life is a bit busy with a 2-month old and every "break" I get is a rush of feeding myself, using the bathroom, taking care of the dog, and trying to get in a household chore before he wakes up. It's comical actually; almost like a relay race for life: "How much can you accomplish in an hour or less with just a few hours of sleep?"

I've decided to just highlight some of the biggest moments or things that stand out the most when I look back at our first 2 months as a family of three.

Colic?
First of all, let's talk about "colic." Sometime around 2-4 weeks, we noticed that Merbaby would start to get fussy around 5 PM and would cry until he slept for the night around 10 or 11 PM. The only thing that would calm him was walking around the house facing forward. It was exhausting! We would take turns walking around until he finally fell asleep and then we would crash! His naps were barely lasting 20 minutes throughout the day and I actually looked forward to nursing him because that was a guaranteed 20-30 minutes of peace and quiet while I was lounging in the recliner with the TV on. It was around that time that a former coworker and mom of three sent us a gift in the mail that changed our lives:

Every new parent MUST buy this book and read it immediately! It seriously changed our lives. I've heard of the 5 S's and I'd watched the YouTube video but it just didn't seem to work for us. I couldn't get the swaddling down (it's hard work with those blankets). Merbaby wouldn't take a pacifier. And the swaying just wasn't working out. Reading the book changed all of that. It explained the reasoning behind all of these things and even gave instructions on how to correctly use each of them. As it turns out, I was doing it all wrong.

The week I began reading this book was also the week that Mr. Merman was out of town for work. My mom came to stay for most of that week. Having her there was a gift! I read parts of the book to her and we figured it out together. By the time she left, Merbaby was sleeping much better and the colic seemed to be no more! I seriously believe that colic is a myth. It just seems like I didn't know how to soothe or calm my baby correctly. He wasn't sleeping well and it was causing this extreme fussiness. I read about sleep deprivation in babies and Merbaby matched all of the indicators. Of course this made me feel like a terrible mother but I was so happy to be able to recognize this and solve the problem. That Friday, Mr. Merman returned home with his sister and family in tow. It ended up being a great weekend visit because I now knew how to make my baby happy. What a relief!

I know every baby is different but the swaddle was key for our little guy. I gave up on the blankets after he broke out of them every night and I could feel my frustration taking over. We had several Swaddle Me's but I hadn't been able to figure out how to use them. After watching a few YouTube videos, I was able to figure it out and now we use it daily. Even though he still won't take a paci, we are able to hold it in his mouth to soothe him when he's having are hard time sleeping. So, this is my service announcement to new parents: Read The Happiest Baby on the Block and get some Swaddle Me's now!

First Outing
As any new mom will tell you, the first weeks of mommyhood are lonely. Honestly, I often wondered what we'd gotten ourselves into or if life would ever be the same. Watching TV helped remind me that there's still life outside of my house. I was purposely watching reality shows to prove that people still go out and do things after having children. It was pretty sad but it motivated me to get up and get out.

Going out in public caused anxiety because: What if baby has to eat? What do I wear so I can feed him in public? What do I wear with this weird postpartum body? What if he cries in public? Isn't he too young to take out? It's easier to just stay home. How will I even find time to get dressed and ready to leave? Do I have to carry him around in this carseat? Will walking around too much mess with my healing lady bits? Will it be painful to move around so much? What underwear do I wear out?

All of this was going through my mind but I was mostly anxious about feeding in public. I'm slightly modest and just don't feel comfortable whipping my boob out but I also wasn't comfortable enough with breastfeeding to do it under a blanket or cape. But I faced my fears when he was 1 week old because I just needed to get out of the house and do something before I went crazy!

We loaded up the car and headed to... the hair salon! ha! Mr. Merman needed a haircut so we went with him. Merbaby slept through the whole thing and I just sat in the chair admiring the world around me. FREEDOM! I wasn't ready to go home so we went shopping at Kohl's. It felt so, so, so, so good to be out! Of course, Merbaby did get hungry so I snuck back to the bathroom area where they had cushioned seating and I could feed him under a cape. SUCCESS! We had a successful public feeding although I was extremely anxious the entire time. Every time a man or woman walked by on their way to the bathroom, I got self-conscious. An employee stopped to ask me about the cape and I was just wishing she would go away! But that's okay because I did it!

Mr. Merman being silly during Merbaby's first outing! 

Dad's Accident
Unfortunately, my dad was in a car accident during Merbaby's 2nd week of of life. It just so happened to be during our second outing. I wanted to get out of the house so Mr. Merman decided that we should go outlet shopping and grab lunch. On our way home, I had a weird text from my dad saying that he had been in an accident but he thinks he's okay. He was moving that day and had been driving back home to eat lunch and pack up the last few boxes. He was at the intersection right by our neighborhood when a 19-year-old girl pulled out in front of him. While talking to him, he tells me that he's sitting on the curb with the police officer who is insisting that he go to the ER to get checked out. We were rushing to get to him so that we could assess the situation and take him to the hospital ourselves but we were stuck in quite a bit of traffic. He seemed shaken up on the phone and it scared me!

By the time we made it to the accident, they'd already taken him in an ambulance. As we pulled up and I saw my Dad's car crushed into a stop sign with the airbags deployed, I kind of lost it. Fighting the tears, I jumped out to talk to the officer about what had happened and to get information on where they would be towing the car. I climbed back into our car to a screaming baby. My poor husband had been sitting in the car with a crying, hungry baby the whole time. I felt terrible. It was all so overwhelming and I just cried. There's nothing scarier than thinking that you could have lost a parent in the blink of an eye. I felt so helpless with a newborn.

Best Husband & Son-In-Law Award goes to Mr. Merman! After he got me and Baby situated at home, he drove to the hospital to be with my dad. He drove to the tow-lot to clean out my dad's car. Then, he went to my dad's apartment and finished packing everything up. He moved everything to my dad's new place and even unpacked some stuff for him. The next day, he picked my dad up from the hospital and drove him around to run errands and get things in order. They came by the house to pick up my car that we let Dad borrow. His entire left arm was bruised and red. It was enough to make my stomach turn. How terrifying! The hospital thought he had bleeding between his skull and brain which is why they kept him overnight. But it turns out he just had a concussion. He still had a dull headache and was sore but overall, he felt fine. I was filled with anger at the girl who pulled out in front of him. How dare she put my father in danger like that! If only I could give her a piece of my mind. Thankfully, he's okay. He now has a shiny new truck and is happily moved into his new place.

Football and Baseball
Little Merbaby is already being introduced to the world of sports. My husband's company held a free event at the new football stadium in our town. We planned to go for weeks so that I'd be prepared to take this baby out. He wanted his coworkers to meet his baby and I was excited to socialize with adults. At 7 weeks, we took our baby to the new stadium where our home team was practicing on the field. They had free drinks and catered food. After the team finished with practice, we got to go down on the field! He won't remember this but we got to sit on the 50 yard line before the first game was ever played in this stadium. He slept through most of it but I did end up feeding him before we left. I'm getting much more comfortable with nursing in public. Depending on where we are, I rarely even cover up for it now.

Last week was our 7th wedding anniversary and my mom got free baseball tickets from work. The seats were right on the field so we decided to go. I dressed Merbaby up in his baseball clothes with a little baseball on his butt and we drove out to the other new stadium in our city. I carried him in the Ergo, which is so much easier then using a stroller! Unfortunately, a huge thunderstorm moved through and the game was cancelled. But we had fun checking out the new stadium, eating game day food, and hanging out with my parents. Maybe next year Merbaby will get to watch his first baseball game?

Perfect 2 Months
Overall, the first two months of this little guy's life have been filled with excitement and new adventures. It's a learning process for sure but I think we're doing a pretty great job. He's had so many visitors that love and adore him! A friend set-up a meal account so we had people signing up and bringing meals over once-twice a week. (I highly recommend this for all new moms). We were in survival mode and these meals made life much easier!

We've experienced shooting poo, loud baby toots in public, and being peed on. We celebrated Mr. Merman's birthday, which is another crazy story by itself since I may have waited til the last minute to plan anything. This little guy has been to several restaurants, survived being vaccinated, and has figured out how to sleep through the night (if 5 1/2 hours counts). He's been to a wedding shower, a baby shower, and a gender reveal party. There have been too many Starbucks trips to count. We've been on several walks through the neighborhood and at the park. We've had playdates with our Centering friends and other new mommies. The best playdate was when Mommy (me) accidentally locked us out of the house and Daddy had an important meeting at work that day. So we spent the day at our best friend's house, pooping, eating and sleeping. Oh the stories we'll have to tell!

Doctor Updates
As of now, Merbaby is 24.25 inches long and weighs 13 lbs. 5 oz. He has nearly doubled his birth-weight in just two months. He's a tall baby in the 96th percentile and we love watching him grow. He's currently wearing 3-month clothes but some of those are getting a little small. He's got pretty good head control and is really beginning to lift it up during tummy time (which he hates). He's beginning to coo a lot more and likes to touch things with his hands. He is able to track things with his eyes and often looks in the direction of our voice. Everything seems to be going well and is right on track for his age.

Miss Milky
This has become my nickname with our Centering friends because I am producing so much milk! My biggest fear was not being able to breastfeed, which seems ridiculous now. I'm so very lucky as it has been easy since day one. His latch was perfect. My milk came in right on time and he's been steadily gaining. No reflux or allergies have made their appearance in our lives and I'm feeling extremely fortunate. We met with a lactation consultant at 3 weeks to discuss building a back-to-work stash of milk and to discuss introducing the bottle. I began pumping each morning as that's when boobs are the most full. Once we introduced the bottle, I had to begin pumping twice a day and that's when I realized that I'm really milky! He only takes 2-3 oz. in a bottle but I'm pumping 10 or more oz. each time. One time, I pumped 17 1/2 oz. in one sitting! Because of this, I've got quite the stash built up and doubt I'll have any problems keeping up with his appetite once I go back to work. I plan to pump two times a day which should produce more than enough milk for him to eat the following day at daycare. Let's just hope my supply continues to stay up while he's away from me all day long.

My Milk Stash

First Day at Daycare
Speaking of daycare, Merbaby had his first day last week. We found an in-home daycare that isn't too far from our house and is on my way to work. This lady is extremely energetic and knowledgeable. She has 4 kids of her own and 7 grandkids so she's full of experience. I immediately felt comfortable in talking with her. She has 3 other babies that she keeps who are all at least a year old. Merbaby is her only newborn. On Thursday of last week, we decided to do a trial day to make sure he would take a bottle from her and to let them get to know each other. It also helped ease my mind about going back to work. I woke up and got ready as if I was really going to work. Mr. Merman helped load everything in the car and I dropped Merbaby off. Then I drove to work to test out the traffic and get a feel for how much time I would need to get there. As it turns out, I'll need to leave slightly earlier as I would have been about 10 minutes late to work. But the drive wasn't bad at all!

I drove home to pump for 30 minutes and then went to Starbucks. Since I was baby-free, I decided to go inside! It was surreal standing there without a baby attached to me, a freeing delightful feeling. I took my Starbucks and a book to the nail salon and enjoyed my first pedicure since having a baby. It was AMAZING! However, I was getting more and more anxious as time went on. It's weird not knowing what your child is doing after seeing his every move for 2 months straight. I was dying to know how many wet diapers he'd had, how often he'd eaten, and whether or not he'd had a nap. Was he crying? Did she swaddle him correctly? Did she check that he was breathing during naptime? I kept having to calm myself down and force myself to enjoy the "me-time" that I didn't realize I needed.

After 4.5 hours, I picked my baby up and he was just fine! She said he ate two 3 oz. bottles without any problems. He'd taken two short naps and had fun playing on a playmat. I brought him home and he slept some more. I think daycare wore him out. It was a freeing feeling being able to leave him with someone else while I took time for myself. I'm not so scared to go back to work now! Just sad.

First Night with Daddy
Friends of ours are getting married in a couple of weeks and this past weekend was the bachelorette party. We've known about it for quite some time and I'd made it a goal to be able to go. This meant having Mr. Merman do bedtime with a bottle for a week straight and leaving him with the baby while I went for walks with the dog or ran to Starbucks. And then the day came and I didn't think I could do it. Mr. Merman didn't seem fully confident in being alone with him for several hours. Merbaby had given us a really hard time going down the night before. Halfway through the day, I just decided that I'd wait until he was asleep before I left, even though that meant missing the lingerie shower and dinner. But, Mr. Merman insisted that I go and told me not to worry. It was the encouragement I needed sp I threw on the only black outfit that still fits (maternity pants and a loose black top) and left before I could change my mind.

I pumped once I got to the hotel and packed the milk in a lunchbox full of freezer packs. Then I enjoyed a glass of wine with the girls. Merman sent pictures to help ease my mind which helped me enjoy myself a little more. We went out to dinner and got margaritas. I kept having to remind myself that I was a mom... and that I wasn't pregnant... and that I had a baby at home but it was still okay to drink. I can't even explain how odd it felt to be out and about, barhopping and enjoying myself. I came home around midnight and experienced my first pump and dump. I prepared a bottle for his first wake-up, which happened to be 15 minutes after I finally got in bed. He took the bottle and went right to sleep. Was I tired the next day? Oh yes! Was it worth it? Most definitely! But, I think we'll be okay at this parenting thing. :)

PS: Mr. Merman says they played, watched some football, and walked around the house bouncing cause Merbaby was missing his mommy. :)

My Final Day of Maternity Leave 
Yes, I've cried. I thought I was okay until I started crying out of nowhere. I let him sleep on me in his agility carrier today. I've stared at him just a little too long... and plan to do more staring. I keep squeezing and hugging on him because I can't imagine him spending an entire day with another person. It breaks my heart.

I'm trying to busy myself with prep for tomorrow. Packing his diaper bag, prepping his milk, packing my lunch and all the pumping supplies I'll need. Mr. Merman is working from home due to Tropical Storm Irma so he's working on laundry. (Have I mentioned that he's the best?)

Update (a few hours later): After typing that, Merbaby woke up from a nap and ate. I played with him a good bit and then he fell right back to sleep on me. I decided to just let him stay there cause I'm going to miss that cuddle time so much! I've cried two more times today just thinking about what he'll be doing the next few days without me. I know he'll be okay but it's not fair that mommas have to leave their babies so soon. Every time he smiles at me, I tear up.

But I know we'll be okay. Maternity Leave has been like living a dream. It was hard and I had to learn a lot in order to care for this baby. But it was everything I'd always wanted and more. I'm looking forward to the rest of our life raising this precious boy. He's going to learn so much in the years to come and I'm excited to watch him grow. As they always say, my heart now lives outside of my body.

We've got an hour til his bedtime and I've done nothing to prepare. Guess I better let Daddy take over so I can get started.