Hello Due Date...

Here we are... 4 1/2 hours away from our due date with absolutely no signs of labor.

I had an appointment on Tuesday and was really excited about it. I'm not sure why I expected something to happen but I really thought maybe 1) We'd make a plan for what to do if I go past my due date or 2) They might insist on doing a cervical check and tell me my options from there.

The night before the appointment,  I had a dream that Mr. Merman and I were on a plane with a doctor and a midwife. They were guiding me through pushing each time the plane dropped. (Somehow the force of gravity when climbing back up was supposed to help with labor... lol!). In my dream, they checked my cervix and were shocked by how ready I was. So I pushed him out, then pushed the placenta out, and then woke up to the reality that was... nothing! Just a husband and a cute dog lying in bed next to my largely pregnant belly.

The real appointment was quick and routine. Urine sample, weight, blood pressure check. Then the midwife did the doppler and measured my fundal height, which was ~37 weeks. She confirmed that he is still sunny-side-up in there and told me that when I start having contractions, I will likely feel pain starting in my back radiating around to the front of my stomach. She told me to just keep waiting and they'd see me back next week. This is when I stepped into panic-mode: Wait! What??! That's it?!?! I just go back home and keep waiting???
I asked when they would consider inducing and what the next steps are. Basically, they'll do a cervical check at the next appointment (once I'm past my due date) and determine what needs to be done. It's likely that they'll do a membrane sweep if things don't seem to be progressing at all. Then, they'll want to see me again later in the week. I mentioned that I didn't want to go past 41 weeks. She said we would discuss that next week but then gave me this little speech, "...inducing labor increases the likelihood of a c-section and we really want you to go into labor on your own."

I came home feeling really upset. I was on the verge of tears but couldn't figure out why. Why was I feeling so upset? Mr. Merman was working from home that day so I was able to come home and talk to him about it. I think he'd also been expecting something more to happen  cause he said, "Oh gosh! This is going to drag on forever, isn't it?" And that is exactly how I'm feeling.
Now that it's almost practically our due date, I'm just so ready to meet him! I really had to work on my mood that day. I had to do some self-motivating speeches in my head to remind myself that he will be here soon and I should enjoy the little time I have left to myself. It's unreal how depressed and irritated I was feeling that whole afternoon. I didn't want to do anything but sleep.

Making plans for the next few days helped pull me out of that funk a little. I'd been planning to lay low at home just in case so making plans helped give me something to look forward to. It was a good way of reminding myself that life will go on!

Then I took a long bubble bath to relax and refresh. It was more of a meditation-type of bath. I took time to rub my belly, talk to the baby, do some breathing exercise, clear my head, and breathe in the scent of lavender oil and stress relief.

This little piece of cuteness peeking over the edge helped perk me up too. 

Keeping Busy

Yesterday, I took Piper for a 2.5 mile walk. I've been walking a good bit over the past week to try to get things going. It can get pretty uncomfortable while I'm walking but nothing more than Braxton Hicks have come from it. It does feel great being active though. Sometimes I'm so tempted to just run! I miss it so much!

I met up with a teacher friend and her 2 kiddos at Chick-Fil-A for a little catch-up session. We had a great time and I realized two things while there. First of all, I'm so excited to finally be joining the Mommy club! Secondly, maybe only being able to have 1 kid is a good thing. While her children were very well-behaved, it was quite a handful to keep them both entertained. lol!

Last night, we had dinner with friends to find out what the recent bride is having. We met up for Mexican food and drinks (for those of us who aren't pregnant). The mom-to-be made cupcakes for everyone that were filled with pink or blue icing. After waiting forever, it was finally time for dessert so she passed out the cupcakes and counted down to "bite time." We all bit in and saw PINK!!!! Another girl to add to our growing group of babies. Now we'll have 3 boys and 2 girls in our group of friends. It's perfect, I think! 

Yardwork

My mom and stepdad came over on Saturday to help out. Our yard has really gotten bad over the past year since we've been avoiding Zika. The flower beds have been taken over by weeds, branches have grown over the sidewalk, and the entire backyard looks like an abandoned field. It's embarrassing to be those neighbors that can't keep up with their yard work. [Disclaimer: My husband does an excellent job of keeping the grass pretty and trimming the bushed].

I had a landscaper come out to quote a clean-up and that quote is what ultimately motivated Mr. Merman to just do it himself. My stepdad offered to help and they spent 7-8 hours pulling weeds, cutting vines, trimming branches, etc. It looks so much better but is no where near finished. We need to spray the small weeds with weed-killer and have someone come lay fresh pine straw. But the rain has been endless this summer, which makes spraying weeds nearly impossible. So, let's all do the anti-rain dance, shall we?

While the boys were in the yard,  my mom and I put our newborn sleeper pack n' play together. It was a lot harder than we expected. This is what we plan to keep downstairs for now as it has a place for baby to nap and a place to change diapers. It even has little shelves to hold wipes and diapers in it so we don't have to keep running up and down the stairs. If Merbaby doesn't enjoy the Rock N' Play sleeper we have in the bedroom then we'll move this upstairs to use as the bassinet in our bedroom. 

Nesting

I've been cleaning like crazy! Everyone says I'm nesting but part of me wonders if it's just me. I've always been one to plan ahead, organize, and prep so this just seems normal. I've cleaned the entire house- vacuumed, dusted, reorganized, cleaned toilets and sinks, thrown away unnecessary items, done all the laundry, cleaned the sheets, done the dishes, etc. I even gave the dog a bath this week and cleaned my make-up brushes. I'm so ready for Merbaby to come!!! Mr. Merman asked what I'd do if he came late and everything needed to be cleaned again. UGH! He really knows how to frustrate me cause now that's all I'm thinking about. I plan to dust again tomorrow because now I'm noticing dust on the furniture again. lol.

I've also been over-buying at the grocery store. During my weekly trips, I'm loading up on extras so that we'll have a lot of "quick food" once the baby is here. But then I start eating that food during the week instead of the healthy food I intended to eat. So I buy more. Ha!

Inducing Labor at Home
Today, I decided to try nipple stimulation to induce labor. I've been walking a good bit, drinking raspberry leaf tea each night, eating pineapple, and trying out self-acupressure but nothing seems to be working. So I whipped out the breast pump and decided to give it a try! As luck would have it, the tornado sirens began going off in my neighborhood as soon as I got the pump out. I turned on the TV as the weatherman was alerting people in my area to take cover immediately because the rotation was hovering over the school a mile from my house! I grabbed the dog, my water bottle, phone, and took off to the basement. Luckily, it passed right over us without making any ground contact. But it was an adrenaline-filled experience as all of the bad weather usually passes right around us. I started having Braxton-Hicks after that so it was the perfect time to try out stimulation.

The initial feeling of the pump sucking was shocking. I had it on the lowest massage mode just to stimulate, not to actually suck and it was still pretty uncomfortable. But I got used to it after awhile. Obviously, it did nothing to induce labor. I stimulated for 30 minutes, which is the recommended time and nothing happened. But at least I know how to work the pump now!

Getting Through the Weekend
My niece's 13th birthday is on Saturday. Her and my sister are coming in town tomorrow. They're planning to stay here for a night unless I go into labor. I think we may get birthday brunch on Saturday morning and then her big party with all her friends is that night. The party is about an hour from us so I'll have to see how I'm feeling before we decide if I'm actually going. I'm so excited to see her and get to celebrate! If the baby had come early, we weren't going to be able to make it.

I really hope he doesn't decide to make his appearance on her birthday! I'd like them to have their own separate days to celebrate each year. I also don't want my mom to have to decide between going to my niece's party or being at the hospital.

Sunday's weather report is showing that we may (finally) get some nice weather so I'm hoping to go for a long walk. Then I'll go to prenatal yoga that afternoon and beg the instructor to show me how to get him out. haha! They were all so excited at last week's class because they didn't think I'd be back this week. So it'll be a little defeating if I have to walk back in there Sunday night with an even bigger belly and no baby! :(

Feelings
I'm not feeling nervous about the birthing experience/pain at all. I know it's going to hurt but I also know it's what has to be done before he can make an entrance into this world. What I am nervous about is being induced and then not progressing enough for vaginal birth.

My mom and sister both had c-sections. My sister had to be induced cause she went past her due date. She labored for well over 2 days and nothing was progressing so they had to do a c-section. My mom's pelvis was too narrow for my sister to come through so they had to do a c-section for her after she'd been laboring for a while... which leads me to another fear: narrow pelvic bones!

I asked my midwife if this was still a thing that could happen. I was hoping maybe this was an old-timey belief. But she confirmed that it is possible to be laboring and find that your pelvis isn't wide enough to birth the baby. In that situation, they will do an emergency c-section.

The longer I'm pregnant, the more he's growing! He was estimated to be 6 lbs. over 2 weeks ago, which would put him around 7 lbs now. I'm afraid that if he gets any bigger, it may be too big to fit through my pelvis. Which is why I really don't want to go past 41 weeks.

I'm also feeling excited that I'm actually getting a baby soon but at the same time I keep asking the world if this is some sort of cruel joke because it feels like he's never going to come. I'll tell you what, these end of pregnancy emotions are no joke! I can only imagine what post-partum emotions will be like. I already feel as if I'm going a little crazy.