Let's Talk About Stress, Baby

This week has been rather eventful and productive. But before we get into that, I want to talk about the fun stuff!

First of all, Mr. Merman finally got to feel the baby move. Little Dude has been more active lately and my husband has really been wanting to feel him. My promise to him was that the second I felt movement on the outside, I'd let him know. It finally happened on Monday! We were all laid out on the couch watching TV and Baby was moving all around. So I put my hand on my stomach. Actually feeling it from the outside had me in a complete state of shock. Pausing the TV, I told my husband to put his hand on a certain spot and wait. Sure enough! Within a few seconds, he felt it. His eyes got huge as he waited for more. "What do you think?" I asked later on. "It just feels like you have gas," he replied. I giggled as he explained that it wasn't at all what he was expecting. Now he knows why he couldn't feel it before. The movements are so small and muffled, it doesn't feel like much. 

Yay for another pregnancy milestone!

MFM Ultrasound #2

I'm currently 22+6 weeks pregnant. Nearly a week away from viability and I'm getting nervous. Tomorrow is our follow-up ultrasound to check on the fluid levels. I've still been guzzling water as though I've never been given water before. I've been able to put the anxiety and nervousness aside for the past couple of weeks. Being able to feel Baby move has really helped put my mind at ease. "There's nothing you can do so don't stress over it" was the doctor's advice and I've taken it to heart. Focusing on to-do lists, friend's showers, work, reading, etc. has really helped. But now that we're a day away, I'm starting to worry. What if the fluid hasn't increased? What if it's lower? Will that mean super early labor? Will I need to go on bed-rest? Are we even going to be able to bring this much-wanted baby into the world? So many questions! In fact, I've got a list of questions that I want to ask the doctor tomorrow. 

- Is the baby measuring on schedule?

- How long is he?

- What kind of scale is used to measure fluid? 

- What is the ideal number to be at on that scale? Where were we 3 weeks ago? Where are we now?

- What challenges could we face with the placement of the umbilical cord?

- Should I expect to go full-term?

- Should I expect a C-section?

I can't wait to show up with my list tomorrow. I need details and information so I can fully understand the situation! This is something I really miss about being with an RE. They made sure we knew everything that was happening, good or bad, and what it meant for our future. Why can't all doctors be like reproductive endocrinologists?

Babies, Weddings, and Birthdays! OH MY!

The next couple of months are going to be a little busy. 

One of my best friends is getting married in April. Another best friend is due in April. And another best friend's birthday is in a week, the day after my mother-in-law's birthday. 

I'm a bridesmaid in the wedding so I've been busy helping to plan the shower and bachelorette party. Her wedding shower is this weekend. Luckily, I'm on Winter Break so I've been able to get a lot done this week. Her sister-in-law has been going to town crafting the decorations. I've managed to create guest favors, games, reserve the venue, buy some essentials, gift shop, purchase shoes for the wedding, and more. Alice and Wonderland is the theme so it'll be a tea party in which everyone wears fun hats and partakes of miniature food and assorted teas. I'm beyond excited to finally put our plans and hard work into action! I've just got to get through tomorrow and hope for good news! The bachelorette party is at the end of the month so I've had plenty of time to make arrangements for that.

Wedding Shower Favors!
Assorted teas and Peppermints

I'm also helping plan the baby shower for my friend who is due in April. We're having her shower in about 3 weeks so I've been trying to get game ideas together for that. Thankfully, her mom and sister are helping so planning games is the extent of what I'll need to do.

My best friend's birthday party is next weekend and it's a Hawaiian themed pub crawl. Trying to find a cute Hawaiian outfit has been quite entertaining with this growing belly. I may just wear bright colors, throw on a lei, and call it a day! I wonder how many odd looks I'll get for being pregnant in a bar... 

I made a long list of things I want to accomplish while I'm off this week regarding the showers & parties. I'm happy to announce that I have been quite successful! Our guest bed is covered in piles based on the different occasions. Sometimes, I just go in there to look at it so that I can feel accomplished. All gifts have been purchased and wrapped. All necessities have been bought and organized. March, BRING IT ON!

Home Ownership... Oi...

A couple of weeks ago I began to get antsy about the house and prepping for a baby. After the anatomy scan, I was very reluctant to move forward with plans for the nursery. That quickly changed when a sudden urge took over me and I realized how much we actually need to do, especially if my issues end up causing early labor. And so it began. I made 3 lists.

To-Do Now: clean bathrooms, dust, put things where they belong, etc. 

To-Do Soon: Fix the broken shelf in the kitchen cabinet, fix the broken kitchen chair, replace the storm-torn canopy on the back-porch, etc. 

To-Do for Baby: Paint his closet white, begin moving furniture to guest room, organize guest room closet, make cabinet space in kitchen for baby supplies, etc. 

Needless to say, we've been pretty busy taking care of these items. We've managed to maneuver things around in the guest room so that it can be combined with the office. I spent a day tossing out junk and organizing the closet in that room to make more space. All we need to do is move the office furniture out of the future-nursery and into the guest room so that we can start working on getting things ready to paint. Clearing out a cabinet for bottles was a lot easier than I though it would be. I was finished before my popcorn was done popping. So, let's just hope this whole baby thing actually works out.

My Favorite Part of the Organized Closet!

Leaks and Water Damage

While dusting earlier this week, I noticed something dark on the ceiling in our dining room. To my astonishment, it was a very small speck of mold. Remaining calm, I searched what to do when one finds mold in their home and found a local place that can take care of it. A guy came out yesterday to assess the mold and says that it is a very contained water leak and a small job (in comparison to what he usually sees). As of now, it is not hazardous to our health or that of the growing baby. But, they will need to cut a chunk of the wall and ceiling to assess the damage, remove the mold, decontaminate the entire room, and determine the root of the problem. Unfortunately, a previous homeowner put textured wallpaper on the ceiling in the dining room. While beautiful, it has turned out to be a pain. We peeled back a piece of the wallpaper only to discover that there are little mold spores growing underneath it. It is completely unrelated to the leak as the guy explained that wallpaper traps moisture and is the perfect breeding ground for mold. All this means is that we'll have to completely remove the wallpaper and have the ceiling scraped down and sanitized. 

Once all of this is said and done, we'll need to hire someone to repair the source of the leak (hoping it's something small and simple). And then we'll need to hire someone to come replace the drywall and repaint the room and ceiling. 

Bye Pretty Ceiling!

Roof

As if the moldy leak isn't enough, we've been going back and forth with insurance since May trying to get a new roof. We have two leaks in the garage coming from wind damage on the roof. Insurance refuses to cover the entire roof and has only offered us a check to repair the damage causing the leak. Our roofer (and husband's best friend) told us that no one would do the repairs on such an old roof. He claims that there is hail damage and that the entire roof needs to be replaced. But insurance doesn't agree. 

After calling and leaving several messages with the guy handling our claim, only to be ignored, I got pissy. Hello! Emotional pregnant woman over here trying to get a leaky house ready for a baby...do NOT mess with me! I called and talked to a "team member" about my frustrations. He told me what steps to take, which began with getting several quotes from different roofers. Done and done! I had a roofer out today to assess the roof and give an estimate. Guess what he asked immediately after the assessment? "Has insurance been out to see this recently? I can't believe they won't agree to cover your roof! You have missing shingles and very obvious wind damage. This roof is so old we won't do an repairs because it's just too brittle. You need a whole new roof!" His advice to me was to contact my agent and put him on the case. I had no idea this was even an option so that was the first thing I did. Even our agent was shocked at what he was seeing in our notes and hearing from me. So now he's investigating it and will be calling me back once he gets to the bottom of it. 

We've been very reluctant to replace the roof after the cost of infertility treatments, so I was pleasantly surprised when today's quote was $10,000 less than we were expecting. Apparently, we know nothing about the cost of roofs! We have two more companies coming out to quote us tomorrow. I'm curious as to what they'll say about insurance not covering it. Maybe our agent will work with us so that we can have it covered. Spending thousands of dollars on repairing leaks, repairing water damage, and replacing a roof after spending tens of thousands on IVF... and prepping for a new baby just isn't appealing. And it's not helping me stay calm by any means. 

My hope is that we will get great news about the baby tomorrow, our insurance agent will call with a solution... coverage for the roof! And we'll be able to get all of this covered and fixed within the next (busy) month. Cross your fingers!

8 Days to Viability!

Halfway There

Believe it or not, I'm 20 weeks 2 days pregnant today! Time is moving very slowly but I also can't believe we're already halfway there. Actually, I think we're more than halfway there but I'll get into that in a little bit.

I've gained 10 pounds so far! Which only freaks me out a little bit. My belly is starting to show enough that I can't wear normal clothes anymore. Honestly, I don't ever want to wear normal clothes again because maternity clothes are so incredibly comfortable! My search for long dress pants wasn't delivering results so my husband drove me to Motherhood Maternity. I had to give in to the over-priced brand because the dress pants they have are amazing! They were plenty long enough and looked really great on me. So, I currently have one awesome pair of dress pants, two pairs of leggings, and two pairs of jeans. My weekly work outfits are on a rotation so that I'm wearing the dress pants twice, maxi-skirt once, jeans once, and leggings once. I refuse to buy more clothes that I'll only wear for a few more months.

20 Week Bump!

I've started feeling movement since the last post. Describing how it feels is impossible though. People describe it as feeling like gas or little flutters but that's not the case at all. It just feels like something is moving that I have no control of... kind of like a muscle spasm but not painful at all. Anyways, I started feeling him around 16-17 weeks. It has grown increasingly consistent since then and I'm loving it! I feel him mostly when driving home from work and right before bed. They say the baby is most active at night so I've been looking forward to feeling those strong nightly kicks. I stayed up late on Friday watching a movie and felt him moving more than ever before. There was one really strong kick that put me over the moon! Too bad we can't stay up that late every night.

Anatomy Scan
This won't be easy to write about because it wasn't the "everything looks great! Your baby is totally healthy" scan we were hoping for. I know it could be worse so I'm trying to remind myself of that. This will also explain why I don't think we'll go full term.

I was given the choice to do my anatomy scan with the OB or with the specialist. IVF babies have a higher risk of heart defects so sometimes it's best to see a specialist for the anatomy scan so that's what I decided to do. My friend went there for hers and highly recommended it. My husband worked from home on Tuesday so he could join me. The u/s tech walked us through what we were seeing on the screen. We could see the four chambers of the heart (amazing, right?!), we saw the kidneys, bladder, brain, lungs, etc. Baby boy was curled up in a ball with his knees by his head. He was rolling all around but wouldn't straighten out. He threw his hand up at one point and we got to see all the little fingers. She was also able to confirm that he is, in fact, a boy. She showed us where the umbilical cord was attached to him then changed the view so that we could see the blood flow through the umbilical cord. I thought it looked really short but since I'm no doctor I brushed the thought away. After the scan was finished, I was able to relive my bladder while we waited for the doctor to come in.

When the doctor came in, he did another scan so that he could see everything for himself. While scanning, he asked if I'd had any bleeding or heavy leakage, like water coming out. I thought it was weird that he asked this but answered him hoping it was just a normal question. No, I haven't had any leakage or bleeding at all, just the usual increased amounts of cervical mucus.

As it turns out, both of my gut instincts were right (about the umbilical cord looking short and thinking his question was weird). He explained that everything looks great with the baby. However, my umbilical cord is attached at the edge of the placenta rather than in the middle. All he said about this is that we'll have to keep an eye on it as the baby continues to grow. Then he told us that the fluid around the baby is low. He wants us to come back in 3 weeks to check it out; before we hit viability. My husband asked what would happen if the fluid levels continued to decrease. His answers wasn't very reassuring. He told us that it was out of our control so we shouldn't worry about it. There's nothing we can do in that situation. However, he did tell me, "not to drown [myself] but to stay hydrated."

Our balled up baby boy at 19 + 4 weeks!

I refuse to google what both of these mean cause I know it'll just freak me out even more. I had a friend look it up and tell me the bare minimum. She found something called "marginal insertion of the umbilical cord." It means that the umbilical cord is attached to the edge of the placenta and much shorter than normal. I took to Reddit to see if anyone had experienced this. Many women said that it just meant they had to be monitored to make sure the baby was getting enough nutrients and growing correctly. Some women had to have a scheduled c-section because the short umbilical cord makes vaginal birth risky. Other women said they went into labor a little early but everything was okay. Knowing all of this has helped calm my nerves on this issue. But, not on the low fluids.

There weren't many women on Reddit who had experienced low fluid. The ones who had experience this said that it worked itself out, which is what the doctor told me might happen. I know someone personally who had to be induced and go into emergency labor because her fluid was completely dried up. But she was at least 35 weeks. Much further along than I am!
I'm a worried mess! All I can think about is how we may have to force labor way too early if the levels don't increase. I'm also worried that we won't make it to viability before this happens. I've started guzzling water everyday. I'm getting at least 100 oz. a day and have cut out my afternoon walks just to be safe. I've noticed some changes since increasing my water intake. My stomach is harder and fuller. The baby's movements feel more muffled, which I'm hoping is a sign that the fluid has increased. Maybe I wasn't drinking enough before this?
These next 3 weeks can't get here fast enough. I just want to know if drinking all this water is helping and if my baby is going to make it. I dreamed that we lost him the night after that appointment and woke up in tears. It was unbearable! It almost feels like I'm back in the limbo world or infertility, wondering what we'll do if we lose this baby. Will we try again? Will we give up? Will we adopt? Will we decide to live kid-free? Ugh! It's a place I've enjoyed getting a break from and am not ready to go back to.

All I can do now is chug all the water, eat healthy, breath easier with every baby movement, and hope for the best. Three weeks seems so far away!

Centering
We had our first Centering class/appointment a few weeks ago. I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet. We talked about nutrition and diet. It felt a little pointless as I already knew everything they told me and eat a rather balanced diet. We did an activity that was supposed to open our eyes to how much junk food we were actually eating. Surprisingly, my highest group was vegetables. I don't think the midwife was expecting that cause she seemed really shocked and then congratulated me. To be honest, being gluten free makes healthy eating a lot easier. If I was able to eat gluten, I think I'd be downing lots of fast-food.

The rest of the appointment seemed to be a vent fest about all the symptoms and pains the other women were experiencing. As I'm not having any problems, this was kind of boring to sit through. It did help me feel better about my pregnancy lifestyle though. Exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet, sleeping comfortable with my Snoogle, only peeing once per night... yeah, I think I'm doing okay.

My biggest concern about this week's appointment is whether I'll have time to talk to the midwife about my anatomy scan. I'd rather not do it with the whole group around. Do they allow private time for personal questions and concerns? We shall see!

Yoga
I started going to prenatal yoga classes. I've been to two so far and am really enjoying it. There are lots of pelvic floors exercises, stretches that help with indigestion, hip pain, and charlie horses. It's very relaxing and gives me ideas for stretching at home. They even have a little smoothie bar so I've been leaving with a kale concoction each week. I'm hoping tonight's class will help me relax and calm down from the this week's anatomy scan results.

I'm not quite at this point but it does make me laugh!

Family Updates
Remember Mr. Merman's infected cyst I mentioned in the last post? It never did get better so he ended up having it removed. Luckily, everything is healing nicely and looks good. But now he has another one developing on his chest so we're keeping an eye on it.

The same day he had his cyst removed, we found out that his dad was having surgery on his face! Apparently, he went in to have a grey spot of skin on his nostril checked out at the beginning of January. The biopsy revealed that it was Melanoma so he had part of the nostril, cheek, and upper lip removed! I refused to look at the picture because my husband said it was extremely disturbing. He went to a plastic surgeon 4 days after the surgery. They took a skin graph from his shoulder to use on his face. It has been about 3 weeks since the skin graph and we haven't really gotten an update. We're just crossing our fingers and hoping that it takes and that they got rid of all the melanoma.

Earlier this week, my sister went to the dermatologist to have her most recent melanoma removal spot examined. While she was there, they found another suspicious mole and removed it to take a biopsy. I really hope it comes back negative. The last thing she needs is a THIRD surgery for melanoma. Can the girl get a break in life?!

I don't know what the deal is with skin problems in our family but you better believe we'll be dousing our little guy in sunscreen every time he steps outside the house. Having melanoma on both sides of the family really worries me. He won't ever be allowed in a tanning bed and will get many a lecture about skin cancer and sun exposure from me. I'm also hoping my husband and I are able to escape it.

Helen
In happier news, my girls and I took a weekend trip to Helen, Georgia for MLK weekend. We had such a fun time! We spent the first day hiking and going into town to shop and eat. I ended up getting really sick and we had to rush back to the cabin. Gluten is the culprit! I thought I ordered a safe lunch (sausage, grilled veggies, and mashed potatoes). The waitress assured me that the potatoes were gluten free. Within an hour of eating, it hit pretty hard and I had to run inside an ice cream shop to use their facilities. I haven't experienced anything like this since I quit eating gluten over a year ago. Moral of the story: Don't eat out! It's not worth it!

I stuck my feet in the hot tub that night while my friends enjoyed the luxury of being fully emerged in the steamy hot glory whilst enjoying goblets of wine. Jealous? What do you mean? I'll give up wine and hot tubs any day if it means I get a baby.

We spent the second day touring some of the wineries in North Georgia. I actually really enjoyed it and saved lots of money as a spectator and designated driver. The last winery had a beautiful view of the mountains. I could have sat out there forever. The weather was abnormally warm and beautiful. It was an amazing weekend with the bestest friends a girl could have.
I must admit that being sober was pretty entertaining. There was lots of random dancing, drunk tears and hugs, then silly nonsensical conversations. Oh how I love my friends!

Cute Things Kids Say
I think I'll try to end each post with the funny and cute things children say about pregnancy. Being a teacher, I'm getting a lot of funny comments and parenting advice from students. A few students have started to notice my growing belly and asked if I was pregnant. Former students are beginning to hear it through the grapevine. It is slowly becoming the topic of conversation every time I walk in a room. However, I'm still waiting for my 5th grade math group to notice. One of them complimented me on being "so skinny" last week. I was in complete disbelief! I can't wait til they finally figure it out.

My favorite comments from this week:
"Are you really having a baby? Why do you want one of those? They hurt your stomach!"
"Why can't you have a girl for once? Why does it ghave to be a boy? You should just name him Victoria."
Because I wore a loose fitting shirt one day, "Where did the baby go? Are you still having him?"
When a little girl saw me holding a Starbucks cup, "NO CAFFEINE FOR THE BABY!"
"You need to eat more to help that baby grow! Just like <another pregnant teacher> because her baby is so big!" (This other pregnant teacher is 32 weeks. There's definitely a reason she's bigger than me).

The Superbowl is tonight and our team actually made it! GO FALCONS! 

Let's hope these next 3 weeks go by quickly and that our next ultrasound shows normal fluid levels and a growing, healthy baby.
                                                          

Our first baby enjoying a snow day!





3 WEEKS 4 DAYS TIL VIABILITY!

I forgot to post our 16 week board!





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